I allow my teenage son and his friends to drink while they’re in my home. It’s just beer, and what’s the big deal? At least here in my house, where I know what’s going on and can have some control. Besides, kids are going to do what kids are going to do; there’s no point in fighting it.
I hope what you just read disturbs you. I hope you’re not nodding your head, saying, “Finally! Someone gets it!”
Because I don’t get it, and I never will.
I can’t wrap my brain around the logic parents use for hosting underage drinking parties, or for turning a blind eye to their child’s substance use. This “kids will be kids” motto is nothing more than a lame excuse for parents to justify their negligence in parental responsibility.
I realize that in some other cultures — European, for example — children are raised drinking alcohol as a part of everyday life. This fact is often pointed out by adults who see nothing wrong with under-age drinking.
But life in the U.S. has its own laws, and they make a difference. The minimum driving age in Europe is 17; in many instances, it’s 18. Here in the U.S., kids as young as 14 can drive.
And we should allow them to drink?
Driving laws aside, Europe has its own alcohol-related problems to deal with. According to a 2006 study by the Global Alcohol Policy Alliance, more than one in eight 15- to 16-year olds have been drunk more than 20 times in their brief life. Clearly, allowing children to drink alcohol on a regular basis as a cultural norm does not promote responsible habits.
According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, the earlier a child begins drinking, the greater his risk for alcoholism. Why would any loving parent intentionally thrust her child on a path — even if only a possibility — of struggle toward a ravaging disease for which there presently is no cure?
Then there’s the teenage brain (yes, there is one). Introducing alcohol during the teen years can interrupt some key developmental processes. The teen brain responds differently to alcohol than does that of an adult. It takes a teen longer to experience the physical signs of intoxication, so he can drink to more dangerous levels because he doesn’t realize he’s drunk. The part of the brain that controls emotions, problem solving and impulse inhibition does not fully develop until between the ages of 21 and 24. This is why teens are prone to act on emotion rather than logic; they lack solid reasoning skills and judgment.
Our children need us to be the voice of reason and control. We need to set limits and enforce them. The incidence of alcohol-related deaths, crime, accidents and illnesses defies the popular logic that allowing teens to drink promotes responsible drinking habits and gives kids a safe place in which to experience their “rite of passage.”
Developing alcoholism is not a rite of passage. Neither is drunken driving or binge drinking.
Parents have the right to parent as they see fit. But children have the right to grow up healthy, with the best possible start in life. Allowing them to party because we believe it’s a natural, harmless part of childhood revokes that right and puts them in harm’s way.
Rebecca Valentine (mzwrite@frii.com) owns a writing and editorial service in Windsor, where she’s raising four children.
