The Associated Press moved a story a few days ago that managed to slip under the radar, what with two wars, an election and the economy plunging seven stories into the basement.
An outfit called InChairTV is offering a video system to dentists. The idea: Patients can don goggles and watch a movie, plus ads for dental products, while their teeth are worked on. The systems cost $500 a pop.
I checked out the website at . “Your home for in-chair dental patient entertainment,” it said.
Pass the laughing gas.
Here’s my idea of in-chair dental patient entertainment: The waiting room has a good magazine, which I barely open before my name is called. The hygienist cleans my teeth and tells a funny joke during the rinse-and-spit. My dentist walks in and ponders the X-rays. He tells me my teeth look fine and that he’ll see me in six months. Done.
The idea of watching a movie interrupted by ads for teeth-whitening procedures? With apologies to the late Rodney Dangerfield, if I still have yellow teeth when I leave the office, I’ll buy a brown tie.
I called InChairTV and landed Matthew Leader, CEO of the Brooklyn, N.Y.-based startup. His brainstorm came when he was flat on his back.
“I was at a dentist’s office — I think I was getting a filling — and I was bored and stressed out and I thought there had to be something better to do in a dentist’s chair,” he said.
He had seen video-game headsets, and it occurred to him to marry that hardware to movies and advertising. So he cut a deal with The Walt Disney Co., plus some advertisers selling dental products. “It’s sort of like a Netflix for dentists,” Leader said. “Every three months they get a new package of movies with ads.”
I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure I’d want any product I was peddling associated with a root canal, unless it was a pain reliever such as Advil or Johnnie Walker scotch.
So I called a few dentists.
Veteran Denver dentist Stanley Gottlieb wasn’t keen on the idea at all, either as a dentist or someone who, like all of us, spends time in the chair.
“It’s merchandising,” he said. “I think you’re taking advantage of a patient who’s in the chair and can’t leave. This is just a merchandising thing.”
Gottlieb said he could see a use for white-noise products that help people relax by masking the drill’s buzz.
“But movies with dental commercials?” he said. “No, I wouldn’t use it.”
Jill Akers, office manager at North Washington Dental Group of Denver, sounded dubious about the whole thing.
“I can see its benefits, but ultimately I see it as probably being cumbersome and expensive,” Akers said.
Richard Metcalfe is a dentist in southeast Denver. His office recently went digital. Monitors display images so dentists can show patients what’s going on in their mouths, if the patients choose info over blissful ignorance.
Some dentists have a second monitor for movies. Metcalfe doesn’t. After 39 years in the business, he’s old-school. I told him about InChairTV. Interesting concept, he allowed, but not his cup of mouthwash.
“It’s almost too gimmicky,” he said. “I want to stick with the reason a patient is here and have a dialogue with them. Besides, most of my work takes less than an hour.”
I don’t know how this will play out, but Leader said 400 dentists nationwide have bought the system. One thing I do know: Not a single one is showing “Marathon Man.”
William Porter’s column runs Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Reach him at 303-954-1877 or wporter@denverpost.com.
