Ooh, you’re a Holliday, such a Holliday . . . it’s a funny game, don’t believe it’s all the same.
Now, the Rockies are forced to trade Matt Holliday — for whatever bits and pieces they can get. And they have to trade Garrett Atkins — for odds and ends.
Because the Skid Rox can’t trade the Monfort Brothers — not to be mistaken for The Brothers Gibb (Bee Gees) — for table scraps.
Holliday wouldn’t accept a contract for $25 million a year from The Bee Mms. And they won’t offer $25 a year.
At the end of the Rockies’ ruinous season, Charlie Monfort said through a messenger that long-range contract extension talks with Holliday last spring were “too much of a distraction. I think that helped lead to our downfall.”
Sure. Every time Jeff Francis took the mound, he thought: “I’m totally distracted by the Holliday thing.”
So, blame the greedy Holliday for the Rockies’ 74-88 record. Matt Valuable Player is a convenient target, and Charlie never accepts responsibility for failure. The Rockies’ collapse always is the fault of Jason Jennings and his agent, or the Boston Red Sox and Todd Helton, or Mike Hampton or the Internet ticket terrorists or the columnists he doesn’t break bread and news with, or the fans who don’t buy his bull.
Holliday struck back at Monfort last week during the general managers’ vacation confab at a posh California resort.
“I specifically don’t want to spend my career collecting paychecks and having October off. I want to be in a situation where I feel like I can make the postseason every year, not only if the perfect storm comes together,” he said.
Monfort and the Rockies are an imperfect tempest.
Holliday told The Post’s Troy Renck that his contract negotiation was not a distraction: “Hardly anyone even knew about it . . . it was agreed not to make it public.”
Holliday didn’t like the Monforts (Dick is the more silent, sensible partner) before. He despises them these days. As reported in this space at midseason, Holliday had said privately to a family friend that he wouldn’t stay with the Rockies because the ownership hadn’t upgraded the starting rotation in the offseason and wasn’t committed to winning regularly.
That’s why I recommended at the beginning of June that Holliday be traded for a No. 1 pitcher — specifically CC Sabathia, Cliff Lee, Rich Harden or Tim Lincecum.
Locally, I was laughed at by those in the media who picked the Rockies to win the 2008 World Series, and, nationally, I was called an idiot by those who never met the Monforts.
Everybody knows what happened to Sabathia, Lee, Harden and Lincecum. That was foresight, not hindsight.
If the Rockies had acquired Sabathia, specifically, they might have used his sensational 11-2 record with the Brewers, who took the wild-card playoff spot. Eleven more victories and the Rockies would have finished with 85. The Dodgers won the division with 84 victories.
The Rockies cannot get Sabathia, Lee, Harden or Lincecum now. Nor would they spend the money if they could.
And they can’t acquire a quality veteran starter for Holliday, even though that promise was made.
What came out of the GMs’ umbrella-drinks meetings is that the Rockies might trade Holliday for a one-season wonder left fielder from the Cardinals or a center fielder and a couple of minor leaguers from the Phillies. Nobody else seems interested.
Then there’s Holliday’s closest Rockies pal — Garrett Atkins, who also spoke up to Renck: “They (Rockies) will have to weigh if the team will be able to win or go young and save money. It’s clear if they trade me and Matt and don’t re-sign (Brian) Fuentes, that’s the direction they are going.”
It’s clear the Rockies prefer to go young again and save money.
The Skid Rox have alienated their two best, brightest hitters — and probably the rest of the team.
The Rockies can’t bring back Holliday and Atkins. Charlie won’t permit more distractions, although he is Captain Distraction on the Good Ship Lollipop.
Dan O’Dowd is given the unenviable order of moving both players, although the Rockies will not get equal value in return. The Rockies will end up with another team’s prospects to go with their prospects, more suspects to go with their usual suspects — Franklin Morales and Greg Reynolds. And no ace in the discards.
Oddly enough, Sabathia is available as a free agent, but the Rockies won’t sign him because they are a “midmarket” team. But Milwaukee, a “midmarket” team, has put in a bid to keep Sabathia.
On the positive front, it was discovered in the past week that the Rockies won’t increase ticket prices next season. Not even the Monforts had the audaciousness to raise ticket prices ahead of impending doom — the loss of Holliday and Atkins and another lost season.
Before the holidays, Charlie will have to blame somebody else — The Grinch Who Stole Holliday.
Woody Paige: 303-954-1095 or wpaige@denverpost.com
