Dear Amy: I am an attractive 30-year-old woman with a good job. I have been in three serious relationships. My previous two boyfriends were losers who took advantage of my generous heart to fill up their pockets with my money. But I stayed with each of them for almost three years! My current relationship is with a guy who is two years younger. He has an excellent profession, like mine, but he also has been using me financially because he knows I am in love with him and would do anything to keep him.
I accept him as he is. He is by far the best among my past relationships, but he is not ready to settle down. We fight sometimes, and after each fight I feel so miserable that I can hardly function at my job. Moreover, I become anti-social with my friends and family members. This has been going on for three years, and I am tired of waiting.
Should I move on to date others? Should I wait for him and hope that ultimately he will ask me to marry him? — Miserable
Dear Miserable: Unlike the stock market, where lately we’ve learned that past performance is no guarantee of future performance, in human relationships it is very easy to predict the outcome, especially when all of the factors are unchanging.
You have an acute case of repetitious romantitus — that’s my technical term for dating losers over and over and letting them clean out your purse.
Do move on, but do not date others until you take a serious look at your behavior and motivations.
Dear Amy: In 2004, I found a man whom I thought was “the one.” We dated for three years and lived together for one of them.
Unfortunately, he was abusive — emotionally, mentally and physically. I ended the relationship, but we continued to be friends.
The last time I saw him, we started to argue and things escalated. Over the span of the next 2 1/2 hours, I was cursed at and struck several times.
Eventually, someone driving by heard me scream in the vacant parking lot. If that man had not stopped to help, I believe my ex would have killed me. That night I left the emergency room with a black eye, bruises/cuts and several torn ligaments in my wrist.
I am a grateful survivor, but I’d like to issue a cry for help to those who witness an abusive situation and don’t want to get involved.
The district attorney is prosecuting my ex for a multitude of charges. The DA checked the 911 logs for that day and found that no one had reported what they had seen done to me. So I beg your readers: Please make that call! — A Pink Cast
Dear Pink: Your letter arrived just after I had a conversation with some young family members about the critical need and value of calling for help.
If a situation is too dangerous to intervene, witnesses should get to a safe place and call 911. That’s what our emergency system is for.
Dear Amy: My husband and I buy Christmas gifts for our siblings’ children. We want to do this because we love them dearly.
The parents have said they expect us to do this, but they don’t thank us for the gifts or give us anything in return. I think a thank-you from the parents would teach the children good manners. What are your thoughts? —Wondering
Dear Wondering: It’s challenging for children to learn good manners when their parents are clods. You could speak with the young people in your life and say, “I’d really love to be thanked for the present I gave you. Can you say thank you to me?” When they’re old enough, you can show them how to write a note.
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