Dear Amy: I am worried sick about my daughter.
She’s 25 years old and has been dating a man for more than a year. They are very serious.
The problem: He is a Muslim, and we are Christian.
Although he is very polite, my husband and I have suspicions that he is a fake. We’re worried that he is going to mistreat our daughter and try to convert her.
Her boyfriend is willing to talk about any religious differences and their future together, but I just don’t want to.
I haven’t talked to my daughter yet and won’t. I’m hoping they’ll break up. Is there anything I can do to help speed up their breakup? We’re willing to force them to break up.
It sounds harsh, but although my daughter’s happy now, I don’t want to see her miserable for the rest of her life.
What should I do? — Worried Sick in the South
Dear Sick: You admit your ignorance when it comes to the Muslim religion and culture, which contributes to your despair over this relationship.
Many relationships between people of different religions and cultures work out just fine, with both parties embracing their differences without forcing anyone to convert.
In the absence of any information to the contrary, you should assume that your daughter and her boyfriend will be thoughtful and respectful.
This young man has offered to talk with you, but you refuse. This makes him seem generous and sophisticated, and makes you seem closed- minded and suspicious.
You should be very circumspect, change your attitude and accept any offers to talk this through.
Your daughter is an adult. The only guarantee I can offer you is that if you attempt to force her to break up with someone she loves, she’ll most likely break up with you instead.
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