Despite the laugh-out-loud title for a travel guide, “Don’t Go There!” provides some serious advice that can save you time, money and lots of grief. After all, every seasoned traveler has horror stories. And author Peter Greenberg, NBC’s “Today” show travel editor, has had more than his share of disastrous experiences. So why not take advantage of his past suffering and avoid vacation nightmares?
This is Greenberg’s fifth book in the persona of “the Travel Detective,” and it’s probably the most appealing to travelers and nontravelers alike. Travelers will appreciate the no-nonsense, naming- names narrative. No brochure language creeps into this paperback. Nontravelers can revel from afar in such misadventures as Greenberg’s trip on an EgyptAir flight in 1981, when the seat in front of him collapsed during takeoff, filling the cabin with thousands of toxic dust particles.
Speaking of brochure language, Greenberg shares some of the phrases to consider when picking a hotel or a bed-and- breakfast accommodation.
Here are some excerpts from his glossary: “Air-conditioned” means broken windowpanes. “Cozy” means your suitcase has more square footage than your room. And “once in a lifetime” indicates that no one ever returns.
Every U.S. state is subject to Greenberg’s don’t-go-there advice. Greenberg classifies “not” spots by a variety of criteria: pollution, crimes, corruption, highway death rates, cancer clusters, even supersized fast-food consumption. He lists the most dangerous theme parks, disease capitals, drunkest places, worst cruises, airports to avoid at all costs and trains that derail the most.
The Courchevel Altiport, in the middle of the French Alps, is a few dozen yards away from the ski slopes with a runway measuring 1,760 feet long. (A more desirable length would be 6,000 feet; 9,000 even better.) And it has an 18.66 percent steepness gradient.
The chapter about destinations prone to natural disasters (such as hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, floods), asks the question: Is anywhere safe? Thankfully, yes, reports the author. He quotes “totally unscientific” research by that advises you to head to Storrs, Conn.
Based upon a count of federal disaster declarations, the research shows that the three safest states are Connecticut, Massachusetts and Rhode Island.
Nonfiction
Don’t Go There! The Travel Detective’s Essential Guide to the Must-Miss Places of the World, by Peter Greenberg, $17.95
