For all those college football playoff dreamers who don’t care what credit union is sponsoring the Poinsettia Bowl, here’s some news for you: Bowl games aren’t for us. They’re for the, um, student-athletes.
So please appreciate the unmatched learning experience for Florida Atlantic to compare crime rates between Miami and Detroit in the Motor City Bowl.
Still, like the M&Ms found in the trail mix you’ll devour on your couch the next three weeks, there are some hidden goodies this bowl season. Sure, the Florida-Oklahoma BCS championship game is worth postponing your wife’s labor or your husband’s appendectomy. But starting with Saturday’s EagleBank Bowl in Washington, plenty of other bowls are worth your time and nachos.
Below is a guide. If you watch all 34 bowls, turn to the Yellow Pages for a list of counselors.
Back up the beer truck bowls
rose bowl, pasadena, calif., jan. 1
Penn State (11-1) vs. Southern Cal (11-1)
The best USC defense since 1952 has made opponents limp worse than Joe Paterno. Careful of the over bet on this one. Penn State’s defense is really good too.
fiesta bowl, glendale, ariz., jan. 5
Ohio State (10-2) vs. Texas (11-1)
So Texas belonged in BCS title tilt? Prove it here. Ohio State linebacker James Laurinaitis matches wits with QB Colt McCoy, a Heisman finalist. Let’s see Buckeyes freshman Terrelle Pryor prove Big 12 defenses are defenseless.
poinsettia bowl, san diego, dec. 23
Texas Christian (10-2) vs. Boise State (12-0)
Forget that famed BCS Buster Boise is one of two unbeatens left. This is the Broncos’ 13th-ranked offense against TCU’s second-ranked defense. If the best bowl games are the best matchups, this is a non-BCS bowl in name only.
holiday bowl, san diego, dec. 30
Oregon (9-3) vs. Oklahoma State (9-3)
The local naval base doesn’t have this many weapons. Oklahoma State has scored at least 55 points five times; Oregon at least 54 five times. Both are in the top eight in offense, scoring and rushing.
capital one bowl, orlando, fla., jan. 1
Michigan State (9-3) vs. Georgia (9-3)
There are few tailback matchups like Michigan State’s Javon Ringer, third nationally (132.5 yards per game, 21 TDs) vs. Georgia’s Knowshon Moreno, No. 16 (111.5, 16).
cotton bowl, dallas, jan. 2
Mississippi (8-4) vs. Texas Tech (11-1)
Watch the only team to take down Florida go against the nation’s top passing team, coached by a man fuming QB Graham Harrell wasn’t a Heisman finalist.
Take down the tree bowls
motor city bowl, detroit, dec. 26
Florida Atlantic (6-6) vs. Central Michigan (8-4)
FAU nips archrival Florida International for a bowl berth and the reward is leaving Boca Raton for Detroit? Two pretty good quarterbacks can’t make up for a game between two directional schools, one that appears to exist offshore.
independence bowl, shreveport, la., dec. 28
Northern Illinois (6-6) vs. Louisiana Tech (7-5)
Unless you’re spellbound by the story of Jerry Kill lifting NIU from 3-9 to .500, change channel to Italian soccer highlights on FOX.
insight bowl, tempe, ariz., dec. 31
Minnesota (7-5) vs. Kansas (7-5)
Minnesota storms in having lost four straight, including a 55-0 regular-season finale to Iowa. At home. Start your New Year’s Eve right and drink a shot for every turnover.
orange bowl, miami, jan. 1
Virginia Tech (9-4) vs. Cincinnati (11-2)
Both teams are quietly efficient. But after Iowa-South Carolina, Georgia-Michigan State, Clemson-Nebraska and Penn State-USC, will Virginia Tech-Cincinnati make that fifth brat taste any better?
emerald bowl, san francisco, dec. 27
Miami (7-5) vs. California (8-4)
Miami just gave up 691 rushing yards to Georgia Tech and N.C. State, and Golden Bears have publicly pouted about staying home for their bowl. Last week’s opened bottle of Chardonnay won’t be as flat as this game.
liberty bowl, memphis, tenn., jan. 2
Kentucky (6-6) vs. East Carolina (9-4)
It’s Kentucky’s 87th-ranked offense (22.42 ppg) vs. East Carolina’s 78th (23.77) with Kentucky losing four of its last five to finish last in the SEC East. Set the alarm for the Sugar Bowl.
Better than you think bowls
outback bowl, tampa, fla., jan. 1
South Carolina (7-5) vs. Iowa (8-4)
So, Iowa, THIS is what you were supposed to look like. Check out Kirk Ferentz’s long-awaited polished product and see if Shonn Green can collect his 13th straight 100-yard game against the No. 11 defense in the country.
papajohns.com bowl, birmingham, ala., dec. 29
North Carolina State (6-6) vs. Rutgers (7-5)
Rutgers has won six in a row and N.C. State four in a row. Rutgers QB Mike Teel has thrown 20 TDs last five games; N.C. State’s Russell Wilson has thrown 16 with no picks in his last eight starts.
Rookie bonus check bowls
gator bowl, jacksonville, Fla., jan. 1
Clemson (7-5) vs. Nebraska (8-4)
Clemson removed Dabo Swinney’s interim tag after the regular season. If Cornhuskers had done the same with first- year coach Bo Pelini in 2003, they would not have become the biggest joke in the history of organized sport.
chick-fil-a bowl, atlanta, dec. 31
Louisiana State (7-5) vs. Georgia Tech (9-3)
Paul Johnson resurrected Tech with a triple option no one thought would work at the BCS level. The crunching sound you’ll hear will be the doomed LSU, assistants walking on eggshells around coach Les Miles.
armed forces bowl, fort worth, texas, dec. 31
Houston (7-5) vs. Air Force (8-4)
In Kevin Sumlin’s first year, Case Keenum led the nation in total offense (416.1 ypg). His 43 TD passes are second only to Sam Bradford, whom Sumlin coached last year at Oklahoma.
new mexico bowl, albuquerque, saturday
Colorado State (6-6) vs. Fresno State (7-5)
Steve Fairchild’s rebuilding project took exactly one season to return to respectability. Now he must face a proud Fresno State program that just got blown out by Boise State, 61-10.
new orleans, new orleans, dec. 21
Southern Mississippi (6-6) vs. Troy (8-4)
Larry Fedora took over a Southern Miss team that had 13 starters back from a 7-6 season. He held a steady course, but how long will it take Golden Eagles fans to tire of his act too?
“Why one more bowl?” bowls
eaglebank bowl, washington, saturday
Wake Forest (7-5) vs. Navy (8-4)
Its first whistle hasn’t blown and it has already changed its name. Dubbed the Congressional Bowl before EagleBank hooked on, it’s a local bowl anchor for Navy and Army. In other words, expect to see Navy every darn year.
st. petersburg bowl, st. petersburg, fla., saturday
Memphis (6-6) vs. South Florida (7-5)
Now THIS is a good idea. In late December bring everyone to the beautiful Florida sunshine — and stick them in a domed stadium for an afternoon game. This game could be as dull as a Royals-Devil Rays doubleheader circa 1999.
Trap bowls
sun bowl, el paso, texas, dec. 31
Pittsburgh (9-3) vs. Oregon State (8-4)
Beavers, three-point favorites, went from Pasadena to El Paso with one horrific 65-38 thrashing from Oregon. Think they’re happy?
sugar bowl, new orleans, jan. 2
Utah (12-0) vs. Alabama (12-1)
Playing a Mountain West team isn’t what the former No. 1 had in mind. And unlike last year’s BCS buster, Utah plays defense.
Welcome back bowls
international bowl, toronto, jan. 3
Buffalo (8-5) vs. Connecticut (7-5)
Buffalo gets first bowl invite since the 1958 Tangerine Bowl in Orlando. This time, however, the Bulls will play, since the International Bowl actually lets African-Americans in the game.
las vegas bowl, las vegas, saturday
Arizona (7-5) vs. Brigham Young (10-2)
It took Mike Stoops five years, but Bob’s little brother finally got Wildcats into a bowl, their first in 10 years. Too bad they’re going to get absolutely waxed.
music city bowl, nashville, tenn., dec. 31
Vanderbilt (6-6) vs. Boston College (9-4)
Vanderbilt is in its first bowl in 26 years and seeks first bowl win in 53. The way it lost six of seven down the stretch, you can see why.
Unsung player bowls
texas bowl, houston, dec. 30
Western Michigan (9-3) vs. Rice (9-3)
Rice quarterback Chase Clement and wide receiver Jarett Dillard have combined for 50 career touchdown passes, an NCAA record.
humanitarian bowl, boise, idaho, dec. 30
Maryland (7-5) vs. Nevada (7-5)
Nevada tailback Vai Taua (118.33 ypg) and quarterback Colin Kaepernick (92.9) have given the Wolf Pack the nation’s second-ranked running attack (291.42).
gmac bowl, mobile, ala., jan. 6
Tulsa (10-3) vs. Ball State (12-1)
Only Bradford has a better passer rating than Tulsa’s David Johnson’s 179.6 with 3,866 yards and 43 touchdowns. Ball State’s Nate Davis is eighth.
Hot seat bowls
hawaii bowl, honolulu, dec. 24
Notre Dame (6-6) vs. Hawaii (7-6)
Charlie Weis, left, wanted to get farther away from Notre Dame’s furious subway alumni, but the Uzbekistan Bowl folded.
meineke car care bowl, charlotte, n.c., dec. 27
West Virginia (8-4) vs. North Carolina (8-4)
This ends West Virginia’s streak of three straight BCS bowls. Coach Bill Stewart better pull another Fiesta Bowl performance here.
champs sports bowl, orlando, Fla., dec. 27
Wisconsin (7-5) vs. Florida State (8-4)
What was worse, Wisconsin’s 3-5 Big Ten record or an overtime win over a Cal Poly team that couldn’t kick straight? How about Bret Bielema entering his third year after getting blown out by Florida State?
Ink-stained wretch bowl
alamo bowl, san antonio, dec. 29
Northwestern (9-3) vs. Missouri (9-4)
Instead of the highest score winning, determine it by which students from the two acclaimed journalism schools write the best game stories.
John Henderson: 303-954-1299 or jhenderson@denverpost.com
