Dear Margo: Here’s a good one for you. A friend of mine, who moved here from England a year ago, found out that his immigration lawyer had not processed his paperwork correctly and he was told to leave the country. Well, he met this girl online, who is Hispanic, 38 years old and never married. He has been living with her — she found him the immigration lawyer — but wanted to break up before he found out about his status. She never told him any details about herself, then one day said, “Oh, I am pregnant.” Then he found out that she is $500,000 in debt, has bill collectors after her, and this guy has almost no money. Anyway, he married her in order to get his green card, they had the baby, and now she tells him he must stay with her 24/7 to feed the baby, change diapers, etc. To make things worse, they were married in Spanish and he has no idea what the notary said (notaries can marry people in Florida). Now the wife is asking the in-laws for money, and they have been giving it because she threatens not to let them see the baby. I told him to get out, but he says he would like professional advice. What should he do? — Dave S. in Florida
Dear Dave: That was one expensive green card. I think the professional advice your friend needs is that of a lawyer. My guess is that he could have the marriage annulled because he had no idea what was being said. Even if the consequence is returning to England, that would be better than being an indentured nanny. I will not add to your friend’s misery by pointing out that it is foolish at best to marry someone about whom you know nothing and where the officiate is speaking a foreign language.
This girl is also blackmailing his parents, which I believe to be against the law. And if I recall, there’s a grandparents’ law in Florida. Your friend also may have a case against his inept immigration lawyer. Suggest Legal Aid; it’s free. — Margo, messily
What To Do about a 7-Year-Old Bigot
Dear Margo: I am the father of a beautiful, sweet, 7-year-old biracial girl. I am an African-American, and her mother is second-generation Italian-American. We live in a predominately white neighborhood, and my daughter attends a predominately white school. My daughter advised us that a classmate was instructed by her parents to not socialize with her. The little girl has made it known to the classroom that she will not sit or play with my daughter; she even got up and moved in the cafeteria one day because my daughter sat next to her. My daughter is colorblind and too young to know what racism is. How should I handle this matter in your opinion? And how should I deal with the parents? — Somewhere in Texas
Dear Some: What a shame that parents teach prejudice to a youngster. It has been proved in many cultures that children, left to their own devices, do not demonstrate biased behavior. Kids just want to play together. (This is the raison d’etre for the international organization Peace Games.) Because you already know how the parents of this classmate feel, I suggest asking someone at the school, perhaps the principal, to open a discussion with them pointing out that the attitude they are instilling in their daughter will not serve her well later and exclusion is something the school frowns upon. In the meantime, you will probably have to explain to your child that not everyone behaves well, and that there’s nothing wrong with her. It’s the other little girl who has the problem. — Margo, regretfully
Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers’ daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
