Election night gave African-Americans hope that change has happened, a change that many thought wouldn’t happen in their lifetime. With Barack Obama becoming president, America chose the man they wanted to represent them and didn’t care that the color of his skin was black. They didn’t care that the first family was black.
A household with a black man and black woman married with children is not always the norm in the African-American community. In many cases, it’s the exception. Having an African-American family in the White House breaks a detrimental stereotype.
Historically, African-Americans married as much as the rest of society prior to the 1960s. Cultural and economic forces weakened the community. Forces like drugs, crime, lack of educational and economic opportunities, etc.
With the war on drugs in the 1980s, many African-American men were incarcerated with long sentences, leaving a lot of African-American women with fewer marriage choices.
Many women decided to raise children as single parents. Some made the choice to have a child without a husband. Sometimes, the father was around, getting the label of “baby daddy.” But there were no moves toward marriage.
Not having the role models of a married, two-parent family makes it difficult to imagine one for yourself. The Obamas show a black man loving a black woman in holy matrimony. The last time society saw it was on “The Cosby Show,” a fictitious family that everyone wanted regardless of color. Now it’s real.
When the Obamas danced to “At Last” by Etta James at the inauguration balls, the world saw their love. At last, there was a positive image of a black couple, not a fairy tale created by TV script writers.
Many African-American children see the first family and imagine that for themselves. In a Washington Post op-ed, some African-American elementary school students talked about marriage and said it was for white people.
It’s not a surprising answer because most of them come from a single-parent household. They don’t experience mommy and daddy living together as husband and wife. When they do see marriage, it’s mostly white couples. A couple like the Obamas proves that anything is possible — even becoming president and first lady.
Unfortunately, society doesn’t see marriage as sacred, especially when 50 percent of them end in divorce. Weddings are celebrated and not the years after. The foundation has a lot of cracks in need of repair. But despite its flaws, it doesn’t change the impact it has on children.
Young boys thrive better when there is a stable and constant father in the household. Young girls make better choices when it comes to men and have higher self-esteem when their fathers are around on a regular basis.
Sasha and Malia’s father tucks them in at bedtime and has dinner with them most every night despite his busy schedule as president. He makes his family a priority.
The Obamas demonstrate that you can be married and raise a family during difficult and challenging times.
Yet, single parenthood is not the enemy. There are plenty of single parents who have raised healthy children. I was raised by a single mom.
Family looks different for a lot of people. But marriage should be the norm and not the exception for African-Americans. Marriage is a way to strengthen our community while providing strong building blocks for the next generation.
The role-model couples of the past paved the road so we could have our civil rights and experiences and dreams that were not attainable in their lifetimes.
The Obamas are the dream realized. Their family model will impact the African-American community for the next four years and many to come.
Denise Washingon (denise.washington@yahoo.com) of Colorado Springs works in marketing and advertising. Entries for the 2009 Colorado Voices competition are being accepted through Sunday.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This is an online-only column and has not been edited.
