Dear Amy: I am a 56-year-old woman and live alone in South Florida.
I have been divorced for five years, after a 23-year marriage.
For the most part we had an excellent marriage. We raised two fine sons, ages 22 and 24.
Life now is fabulous. I look 40 and feel great.
I have my full share of attention from men. I am most often not attracted to them, and so have comfort in casual dating, ballroom dancing and other healthy pursuits.
I recently met a 28-year-old man. He is articulate and intelligent and has character.
There is an attraction between us. I normally would have thought this was ridiculous. His mother is one year older than me.
He and I have discussed this at length. We are still getting to know one another and there has been no physical intimacy.
I have expressed that I have no intention of having more children and he has said that he is taking life one moment at a time, children or not.
I want to know what I might be overlooking. In the event that this unfolds into love, I am wondering about your opinion, as an objective woman. — Reader in Florida
Dear Reader: You seem like an emotionally healthy and mature woman.
He seems like a thoughtful man.
If you were a 56-year-old man and he a 28-year-old woman, both consenting and otherwise unfettered by other relationships, the world would be congratulating you for scoring a young partner who is into you.
So congratulations. To both of you.
The only wrinkle I can imagine is how your two sons would react to this relationship. They might have serious questions concerning this turn of events. If so, you’ll both have to navigate this issue with them, openly and with understanding and respect. You should expect the same from them.
This relationship might not have long-term legs as the substantial age difference between you leads to questions from him along the lines of, “Paul McCartney used to be with a musical group? No way!” Otherwise, growl like a cougar and enjoy yourself.
Dear Amy: I work in a small law firm where some of the men don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom and one even picks his nose at his desk.
We have put soap and hand sanitizer at strategic places in the office, including by the large container of pretzels that we share.
We even put a small sign asking that everyone wash their hands before taking food, all to no avail. Usually when one person gets sick, we all do.
How can we politely get these men (our bosses) to change their dirty habits? — Tired of Dirty Lawyers
Dear Tired: You’ve done all you can to get the lawyers in your office to maintain a “healthy” practice.
You’ve also put me off communal pretzels for the rest of my life.
You and your colleagues should continue to focus on your own hygiene. If you wash your hands regularly, use appropriate germ-containment measures and stay away from the community snacks, you shouldn’t contract every sickness that goes around the office.
I read recently that most of us don’t wash our hands well enough, so use plenty of soap, wash for at least 15 seconds and don’t forget your nails.
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