Dear Amy: My fiance and I recently moved into our first home in a wonderful neighborhood.
We have managed to get to all of our neighbors to introduce themselves, with the exception of one of our next- door neighbors.
We never seem to be able to catch them during the day, but we’ve become very familiar with their golden retriever.
The town we live in has leash laws, but it seems to be a fairly common practice for these people to let their dog run free.
While we do not have a dog, I do not mind the dog running in my yard. I do, however, mind the mess he leaves behind. From what I hear, the dog owners are very nice people and I do not want to come across as a cranky neighbor, but I also don’t want to have to pick up excrement from my yard all summer.
Should I mention something upon first meeting them (“Hi! We’re your new neighbors! We have some of your dog’s belongings next door!”) or later on, or not at all? I really feel that having a good relationship with your neighbors is important to the entire neighborhood’s health, so I’m stumped as to what is the polite, but assertive, thing to do. — Stumped by Doo-Doo Taboo
Dear Stumped: You are doing your very best to be good neighbors. Now your nearest neighbors have an opportunity to be good neighbors in return. Handle this quickly.
I’d suggest that you go over to their house when you know they’re home, introduce yourselves, and say, “We’re well acquainted with your dog; he’s spending a lot of time in our yard and, unfortunately, has left evidence behind. We’re worried about him and we’ve also been picking up his poop. We wonder if you could make sure he stays closer to home?” Be friendly, polite and let them figure out how to solve this problem.
Remember that their dog is their responsibility, not yours.
There is no reason this should turn into an unpleasant neighbor issue. If this continues to be a problem, or if you are unable to contact them personally, you may need to follow up with a call to animal control to ask their advice.
Dear Amy: You missed the point entirely regarding the question from “Confused,” the sister who wants to restore a relationship with her brother after refusing to welcome his in-laws to a catered birthday affair.
Before she can expect to have a renewed relationship with her brother, she must seek out his wife and ask for forgiveness for her poor decision not to allow the wife’s parents to join them at the “family” affair.
Confused’s brother is probably under intense pressure from his wife not to attend any more family gatherings because they were hurt and embarrassed by the selfishness of the sister.
Certainly, two additional “family” members would not have broken the bank or altered the celebratory nature of the event. — G.B.
Dear G.B.: “Confused” was planning a birthday event and invited a small family group (including her brother, his wife and their children) to attend. I wondered if other sibling tensions exacerbated a fairly standard social issue.
Your letter raises the interesting question of what constitutes a family member, however.
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