This note’s for you, moms. . . .
The Arizona Cardinals went to the Super Bowl. The St. Louis Cardinals are in first place in the NL Central. A 50-1 shot named Mine That Bird won the Kentucky Derby. What, and you don’t think Chris Andersen and the Nuggets are a team of destiny? . . .
I’m thinking, any day now, Rory Sparrow comes out of retirement. . . .
From the : “Cleveland Cavaliers Named Least Valuable Teammates” . . .
As for the MVP, was that a yawn I detected the other night after Le- Bron’s 38-footer at the halftime buzzer? Makes you wonder how good the kid could be if he used women’s fertility drugs. . . .
Speaking of Manny Ramirez, where do the Dodgers go from here, now that Manny Being a Cheater is gone? Please. Just getting Jeff Kent out of the clubhouse was worth 10 wins. . . .
Ah, the things you learn sipping coffee in a TV studio half-a-continent away. ESPN’s Skip Bayless on the Nuggets, “I don’t totally trust the knucklehead factor in Denver because it’s still there.” . . .
Which reminds me. My kingdom for an Allen Iverson interview right about now. I’ve been meaning to call his agent, but with the Broncos minicamping, the Nuggets in the playoffs and the Rockies losing every game by a run, I’ve been busier than Cher’s plastic surgeon. . . .
From the e-mail bag: “Cavs-Nuggets in the Finals. How ironic would it be if a guy from Denver wearing No. 7 screws Cleveland again!” . . .
George Karl, disputing the “Thuggets” chants from the peanut gallery in Dallas: “I don’t see the physicalness of the game that everyone else does. Yeah, we’re aggressive, but we’re aggressive athletically more than hits and elbows. We don’t want the game to slow down. We don’t want the game to get into pushing and shoving. We don’t want the game to get slow and sloppy.” . . .
Maybe we ought to start calling the Pepsi Center the “Yes We” Can. In fact, I’m thinking we just did. . . .
No, the Rockies haven’t lost every game by one run. Just eight out of eight decided by a run. A cynic, of course, might say they’re just good enough to get you beat. Me? It’s May and I’m, um, keeping my options open. . . .
Now that they’ve nailed Manny, can somebody please test Conor Jackson, the left fielder on my fantasy team, for performance-decreasing drugs? . . .
Just wondering: If Brett Favre changes his mind and joins the Vikings, will they have to change the license plates to the “Land of 10,000 Interceptions”? . . .
Matt Millen, the architect of the Lions’ 0-16 season, has joined ESPN as an analyst. Great. Times being what they are, maybe he can pick some stocks for us too. . . .
Memo to Broncos Nation: Eddie Royal wants to let you inside the helmet of an NFL star. His Twitter page ID is: eddieroyal19. Or check out his Facebook fan page: -Royal/75419815786?ref=ts. And if I messed that up, sue me. But seriously, folks, No. 19 is one good dude. He’s giving you the chance to rub cyberelbows, so go for it. . . .
They say it’s your birthday: Prince Fielder (25), Brandon Webb (30), Stephane Yelle (35), Tony Gwynn (49) and the Piano Man himself, Billy Joel (60). OK, so B.J. doesn’t have anything to do with sports. What can I say? It’s been a tough week, and typing his name makes me think of Christie Brinkley. . . .
And finally, Happy Mother’s Day to my mom, Doris. Thanks for everything, especially for not wigging out when I knocked over the Christmas tree in ’65.
Five fearless predictions
What was Manny Ramirez thinking? He wasn’t. Manny, below, doesn’t do thinking. Here are five predictions of what will happen now that Our Man Manny has been suspended:
5. The Players Association will issue a press release offering him its full support. The next day, the union will blast the Dodgers for not signing Barry Bonds to replace him.
4. Hall of Fame officials will remove from display the curling iron he used before hitting his 500th home run.
3. Intrigued by a late-night infomercial, he’ll order a self-help tape called “Five Easy Steps To Spelling Your Own Name.”
2. He’ll become the first major-leaguer ever to snag an endorsement for a women’s fertility drug.
1. He’ll star in the sequel to “A League Of Their Own,” playing left field next to Madonna.
Juggling act.
The Nuggets are winning for all the obvious reasons and at least one not so obvious.
Team karma. Or should I say Team Karma? That’s what they’ve become.
And to think, six months ago we were calling them dysfunctional. And a few months earlier, a lot of people were predicting doom and gloom after the trade that sent Marcus Camby packing for a bag of chips.
So what happened? It hasn’t just been the addition of Chauncey Billups. Don’t discount George Karl’s ability to juggle personalities and massage egos.
Mark Warkentien, the Nuggets’ vice president of hoops operations, last week was named the NBA’s executive of the year. And to hear him tell it, he owes a big chunk of the award to Karl.
“We’ve got kind of an eclectic combination of personalities and players,” Warkentien said. “A lot of coaches would really struggle with it because we’ve had so much change. But George coached 9 million games in the CBA. This is his shtick.”
