Dear Amy: I am a 15-year-old girl, and I am partial to a particular brand of clothing.
My best friend’s mother does not like this brand of clothing because she does not agree with its advertising methods.
Often when she sees me wearing this brand of clothing, she tells me that I should “rip off the tag” or take the signature “evil scent” off my clothes. My clothes don’t have any obscene graphics or inappropriate quotes on them; it’s the brand that she doesn’t like.
I am uncomfortable with her remarks but am unsure of how to politely tell her so and ask her to stop.
Do you have any suggestions? — Happy With What I Wear
Dear Happy: I vote for staying quiet. Sometimes, not responding is a polite response, and being quiet lets another person’s words just hang out there, dangling in the breeze.
If your friend’s mom asks you a direct question or asks you why you aren’t responding, you can say, “I don’t really know what to say. I like my clothes, and my folks are fine with it.”
If she says she is offended by something specific having to do with your clothing (other than the company that manufactures it), you should try not to wear those particular garments when spending time in her presence.
Dear Amy: I’m responding to the issue of how to respond when someone says, “You look tired.” How about changing this query to “You seem tired”? This makes a statement more about the person’s demeanor than appearance. — Diana
Dear Diana: Generally, people don’t like to be told that they don’t look good — or that they don’t seem well.
If someone is truly concerned, an open-ended question might be best.
I prefer “How are you doing?” or “How are you feeling?”
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