Dear Amy: Recently, several of my girlfriends and I had a great day together and ended the evening discussing divorce.
We all agreed that divorce is a part of life and may be the answer for some people.
Two of the members of our group got a divorce because their husbands ran off with married women.
We couldn’t understand why people who had affairs (whether public officials or ordinary people) didn’t seem to care in the least about the hurt they caused, not only to their wives of 20 or more years, but also to their children, families and even grandchildren.
Is this just the new norm? — Divorced but Happy
Dear Divorced: Your letter prompted me to read Time magazine’s recent cover story on infidelity, wherein the following line was quoted, attributed to writer Leonard Michaels: “Adultery is not about sex or romance. Ultimately, it is about how little we mean to one another.” Wow. That’s it.
I can’t tell yet if the world has changed, or if we’re just going through a “correction” of sorts. But of course, I have noticed the same phenomenon you and your friends see, and whether it is a buttoned-down senator dragging his wife and children through the knothole, or various members of my own circle “up and leaving,” the only thing I know for certain is that adultery is a supremely self-centered and cowardly act.
Also: Divorce matters. Divorce matters to everyone. People who tell themselves that the kids are resilient and will “get over it” are kidding themselves. Children are resilient. But when parents choose to leave, it changes everything for children, and they will respond to this event (in a variety of ways) for the rest of their lives.
Dear Amy: I’m responding to a recent letter in your column from a man who didn’t like a joke someone told on the golf course about President Barack Obama. I find it ironic that you (and others) object to jokes concerning Obama.
It was certainly always fair game for late-night comedians and others to tell jokes about the former occupants of the White House.
Why are people now considered racists if they tell an Obama joke? — Terence
Dear Terence: People aren’t considered racists if they tell an “Obama joke.” They’re considered racist if they tell a racist Obama joke.
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