Katie Smith said she’d never host another party.
Her last attempt — during the Denver Broncos’ 1999 Super Bowl appearance — left Smith exhausted and frustrated.
“I could hear (my guests) laughing and having fun,” says the retired southeast Denver resident. “The only time I really saw them was when I greeted them.”
Enter Lady of Decorum. For $20 an hour, this local business will supply a hostess to set up the party, greet guests, spark conversations, pass hors d’oeuvres, take pictures and handle any other time-consuming chores to free up hosts to enjoy themselves.
Who hasn’t felt anxious, unprepared or self-conscious when faced with a roomful of guests? The jitters seem to go hand in hand with hosting, so The Denver Post checked in with Lady of Decorum owner Monica Petit to find out how anyone can be a host or “hostess with the mostest” without going crazy in the process.
Petit says every host should strive to create “an experience” for the guests so they leave feeling like their time was well spent. She begins crafting that personalized environment from the moment guests walk through the door.
“I try to remember two facts about each guest,” Petit says. “It could be an outfit or a pair of shoes that catches my attention. But I try to compliment them on something. That let’s them know that this is going to be more of a social event, and not just a party.”
Before Petit started Lady of Decorum, she ran Mamo Cucina, a catering company, with her husband, Mario Petit. It was then that she noticed how little time hosts actually spent enjoying their parties.
These people were constantly tending to others’ needs and never able to cool their heels for longer than a few minutes.
“The guests felt uneasy because the hostess wasn’t able to relax,” Petit recalls.
Even as a guest herself, Petit has often felt compelled to pour wine or take coats in order to give her host some reprieve.
And it’s not just cocktail- or dinner-party hosts who often feel overwhelmed. Since starting her business six months ago, Petit has gotten preparty SOS’s from restaurants, corporate executives and wedding planners.
Businesspeople sometimes need a trained hostess too.
Emilio Perna owns Mama Mia Trattoria in Westminster. He hired Lady of Decorum to host the restaurant’s grand opening. “I just didn’t have the time or the organizing skills to put things together” like the hired hostess did, Perna says.
Petit helped Perna promote the event. She also served as a liaison between Mama Mia and city officials, some of whom attended the opening.
“Many people in the restaurant business are using this kind of service,” Perna says. “It’s better to have someone outside to focus on the presentation of my business” while he’s preoccupied with actually running the business.
When Katie Smith finally decided to throw another party, she hired Petit and another Lady of Decorum hostess to greet her guests at the door, take their coats, give them drinks and lead them to the living room. After Smith prepared the dinner for 30, Petit and and her assistant handled food service. They also stayed after the party to help clean up.
“When you invite people over, you really do want to talk to them,” says Smith. “You don’t want to feel like you are working.”
Sheba R. Wheeler: 303-954-1283 or swheeler@denverpost.com
Helpful hosting hints
Lady of Decorum owner Monica Petit offered this party-planning advice.
1 Use stylish cookware. This includes aprons, plates, cups and decorations. These flourishes can liven up the event and serve as conversation starters.
2This one is really for guests: Bring a hostess gift. “The Dinner Party Book,” by Aspinal of London, is Petit’s ideal gift — and reference — for those who entertain frequently. It provides space for hosts to plan and record party details including table arrangements, menus and guest lists.
3Guests are never too old (or too young) to benefit from an icebreaker. One of Petit’s favorites is the “Famous Name Game.”
It goes like this:
One guest tells the group the name of a celebrity — any celebrity. The next guest offers the name of another celebrity whose first name starts with the first letter in the surname of the previous celebrity listed. The game continues this way.
“My favorite celebrity is Oprah Winfrey.”
Then the next person says:
“Will Smith.”
Then the third player says:
“Sandra Bullock.”
And so on. No celebrity name can be reused. If a guest can come up with a celebrity name that has the same letter in the first and last name, such as Danny DeVito, the game switches directions.
4Pick a party theme. A theme can inform the invitations, fashion and menu. Some fun themes include luaus, tea parties, “go green,” or period dress-up themes like Titanic or Roaring Twenties.
5Take time to write out an event agenda. Some people believe that practice makes perfect. But when it comes to keeping your cool as a party host, planning makes perfect.
6Always greets guests by their first name.Don’t be afraid to use name tags when guests are not acquainted with one another. For an extra personal touch, have supplies on hand that will allow guests to design their own name tags.
7There are some topics that will never go over well in polite company. Personal finances, health issues, and the “isms” (racism, sexism and the like) are topics that can douse the merriest of occasions. Reserve these conversations for intimate gatherings with family or very close friends.
8Ask for help. A good host never gets overwhelmed. It’s OK to hire an event coordinator for help, or a willing teen to answer the door and take coats.
9Make it a priority to have fun at the party, especially if you’re the host or hostess. When hosts let their hair down, their guests will too. Sheba R. Wheeler
