BOSTON — Can’t get milk from a cow? Try calling her Bessie or Buttercup.
A pair of British researchers who found that dairy cows with names yield more milk than unnamed cows are among this year’s winners of the Ig Nobel awards, the annual tribute to scientific research that on the surface seems goofy but is often surprisingly practical.
Other winners honored Thursday at Harvard University’s Sanders Theater included the creator of a bra that, uh, doubles as gas masks; scientists who found that empty beer bottles are much better weapons in a bar brawl than full bottles; and researchers who used bacteria in panda poop to reduce kitchen waste.
The 19th annual event, sponsored by the scientific humor magazine Annals of Improbable Research, featured real Nobel laureates handing out the prizes.
Not all the winners were so thrilled to have their science — serious business to them — singled out in such a way.
“Not the pinnacle of my academic achievements,” said Stephan Bolliger, who along with four colleagues in Switzerland conducted a study that confirmed an empty beer bottle makes a better weapon than a full one in a brawl.
Legitimate value?
Bolliger, like most winners, emphasizes that the research has legitimate value. Lawyers and judges in court cases have asked how much damage a blow to the head with a bottle can cause, and the study could help decide future cases, he said.
Dr. Elena Bodnar won for her bra that converts into a pair of gas masks — one for the wearer, the other for a friend.
It sounds silly, but Bodnar, a Ukraine native who lives in Chicago, started her career studying the effects of the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear plant disaster. If people had had cheap, readily available gas masks in the first hours after the disaster, she said, they may have avoided breathing in Iodine-131, which causes radiation sickness.
Bras cover mouth, nose
“You have to be prepared all the time, at any place, at any moment, and practically every woman wears a bra,” she said, noting that a bra cup, no matter what size, is the perfect shape to fit over the mouth and nose.
Her patented devices also look pretty, no different from a conventional bra, she added.
Peter Rowlinson and Catherine Douglas of the University of Newcastle in England won Ig Nobels for showing that Bessie and Buttercup give more milk than nameless cows.
Rowlinson said naming cows was just one aspect of their research that showed that when humans are nice to animals, the animals return the affection.
For their study, they petted, groomed and named one group of heifers and acted neutrally toward another group.
“Then we followed their performance once they calved the first time and entered the dairy herd, and essentially we found that their behavior in terms of entry into the parlor was improved, they were less likely to kick when they were first introduced to the milking machine and there was an improvement in milk yield” — of 1 to 2 liters.
Not much for one cow, but it adds up in large herds, Rowlinson said.
Winners of the 2009 Ig Nobel Awards
The 2009 Ig Nobel winners, awarded Thursday at Harvard University by the Annals of Improbable Research magazine:
VETERINARY MEDICINE: Catherine Douglas and Peter Rowlinson for showing that cows with names give more milk than unnamed cows.
PEACE: Stephan Bolliger, Steffen Ross, Lars Oesterhelweg, Michael Thali and Beat Kneubuehl for investigating whether it is better to be struck over the head with a full beer bottle or with an empty beer bottle.
ECONOMICS: Executives of four Icelandic banks for showing how tiny banks can become huge banks, and then become tiny banks again.
CHEMISTRY: Javier Morales, Miguel Apatiga and Victor Castano for creating diamonds out of tequila.
MEDICINE: Donald Unger for cracking just the knuckles on his left hand for 60 years to see if knuckle cracking contributes to arthritis.
PHYSICS: Katherine Whitcome, Liza Shapiro and Daniel Lieberman for figuring out why pregnant women don’t tip over.
LITERATURE: The Irish national police for issuing 50 tickets to one Prawo Jazdy, which in Polish means “driver’s license.”
PUBLIC HEALTH: Elena Bodnar, Raphael Lee and Sandra Marijan for inventing a brassiere than can be converted into a pair of gas masks.
MATHEMATICS: Gideon Gono and the Zimbabwean Reserve Bank for printing bank notes in denominations from 1 cent, to $100 trillion.
BIOLOGY: Fumiaki Taguchi, Song Guofu and Zhang Guanglei for demonstrating that bacteria in panda poop can help reduce kitchen waste by 90 percent.
Source: Annals of Improbable Research.
The Associated Press
