Dear Amy: My child goes to high school and has a teacher who is young and pretty.
The boys found her profile on Facebook, and her profile picture is a bit provocative. It’s not terribly provocative — she is fully clothed — but the photo is definitely very sexy, which explains the boys’ interest in it.
Should this be brought to the administration’s attention — or am I being overly concerned? I would think that if you know your students are going to seek you out on a public website, you would want to look a little more discreet. — Concerned Mom
Dear Concerned: I agree that teachers should be discreet in their public profiles, but then I also think that CPAs, veterinarians and Paris Hilton should be more discreet too.
Adults who teach young people have a responsibility to conduct themselves appropriately when they are in the school community.
This doesn’t preclude them from being young and attractive, but teachers need to be aware that they are — for better or worse — being watched by their students.
This doesn’t sound serious enough to warrant your marching in to the administration, but you could take it up with the teacher directly.
Just say, “You should know that the boys in school are very interested in your Facebook page. I’m wondering if you might want to rethink your profile photo.”
Dear Amy: Within the last two weeks I’ve noticed a man and woman who both regularly wait at my bus stop sitting in her car.
They do more than just talk. They kiss in plain view of anyone else at the bus stop who might look their way.
I know the woman is married and has kids — because she has told me this when we’ve chatted at the bus stop. I think the man is also married or at least has a live-in girlfriend.
Having been on the receiving end of an unfaithful wife, I can imagine what the woman’s husband will go through when and if he finds out. I’m more concerned about the children.
I know this isn’t my business, but I know what I’ve seen, and I know the hurt they’re likely to cause their families when they find out. Should I say something? — Concerned Commuter
Dear Concerned: If you saw people at your bus stop smoking cigarettes and you had personal experience with lung cancer, you’d be tempted to try to make them aware of the consequences of their actions.
However, the consequences of smoking and adultery are well-known.
People don’t need you to educate them. Though you seem to know the basics of the families involved, you don’t actually know their personal situations.
If you must speak, make a banal statement, with a twist of humor: “I envy your keeping yourselves warm before the bus comes. Let me know if you’ve got any room in the back of the car. I’ll buy the coffee.”
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