It’s not like Prince sang, “Tonight I’m gonna party like it’s 2009.”
In 1999, a book called “Dow 36,000: The New Strategy for Profiting From the Coming Rise in the Stock Market” hit bookshelves. But in 2009, it was “The Great Depression Ahead: How to Prosper in the Debt Crisis of 2010-2012.”
In 1999, investors cheered as the Dow Jones Industrial Average blew past the 11,000 mark. In 2009, investors cheered as the Dow crept back over the 10,000 mark.
In 1999, the Nasdaq topped 4,000. In 2009, it squeaked past 2,000.
In 1999, the nation’s unemployment rate fell to 4.2 percent, the lowest in 30 years. In 2009, the nation’s unemployment rate soared to 10.2 percent, the highest in 26 years.
In 1999, Goldman Sachs raised more than $3.6 billion in what was then the second-largest initial public stock sale in U.S. history. In 2009, Goldman Sachs repaid $10 billion in Troubled Asset Relief Program funds after capitalizing on one of the biggest corporate welfare programs in U.S. history.
In 1999, Denver’s Rocky Mountain News named Qwest CEO Joe Nacchio “Colorado Businessman of the Year.” In 2009, the Rocky Mountain News shut down and Nacchio reported to prison on insider trading convictions.
In 1999, Microsoft chairman Bill Gates topped Forbes’ list of richest Americans with a net north of $85 billion. In 2009, he still topped the list, but with a net worth of only $50 billion.
In 1999, Time magazine named CEO Jeff Bezos “Person of the Year” for founding a company while losing millions of dollars. In 2009, Time magazine named Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke “Person of the Year” for averting another Great Depression while losing billions of dollars.
In 1999, President Bill Clinton proposed paying off the $5.6 trillion national debt by 2015. In 2009, President Barack Obama proposes to start paying off the $12.1 trillion national debt by — ah, ah, ah — as soon as the economy recovers.
In 1999, the end of civilization loomed on Y2K. In 2009, the end of world was just another special effects movie, “2012”.
In 1999, Moody’s downgraded debt in Russia. In 2009, Moody’s hinted it may downgrade the United States.
In 1999, Bernard L. Madoff helped develop an electronic auction system for the entire Nasdaq market. In 2009, Bernard L. Madoff helped develop an electronic monitoring system for himself.
In 1999, R. Allen Stanford, owner of the largest offshore bank on the Caribbean island of Antigua, complained about U.S. government meddling: “The United States just doesn’t want to see this island succeed.” In 2009, Stanford complained about U.S. government meddling after slapping him with Ponzi scheme charges: “I’m the maverick rich Texan where they can put the moose head on the wall. And that’s the only reason they went after me.”
In 1999, preacher Jerry Falwell predicted the arrival of the Antichrist within a decade. Too bad it didn’t happen. In 2009, I heard Ponzi scheme victim Burt Ross wish: “May Satan grow a fourth mouth where Madoff deserves to spend the rest of eternity.” And then I read how Stanford expressed a similar wish for himself: “I would die and go to hell if it were a Ponzi scheme.”
Where is Satan when you need him?
Here’s to a less hellish decade ahead.
Al Lewis: 212-416-2617 or al.lewis@dowjones.com; blog:
