Dear Amy: I invited a good friend from work to my house for dinner.
Our husbands get along well, and we have children the same age (9 and 11).
The adults lingered at the table, and the kids went off to play.
Later, I found her oldest son in my bedroom. I told him it was off limits and he left with a good-natured apology.
Afterward, my children told me that he acted very strangely. He kept leaving the family room (where they had snacks, games, etc.) and wandered the rest of the house.
He was aggressive with our animals and too rough with my children’s things, but he stopped when they told him to. He touched everything and opened drawers, closets, etc.
He seemed to have spent most of the visit sneaking through the house, touching and moving things. He put my husband’s ties under our bed and cat food in the dryer. He hid a cellphone in a cabinet. Nothing is missing, and nothing is damaged.
I am flummoxed.
The boy’s behavior seems abnormal to me, but his mother has never mentioned it.
Do you have any thoughts, Amy? I don’t want to hurt my friend, but her son’s behavior concerns me. — Concerned Co-worker
Dear Concerned: Speak to your friend. Her son might have a disorder along the autism spectrum.
His mother should have indicated to you that he has a tendency to wander and poke around.
The fact that she didn’t may mean that she isn’t quite aware of the scope of his issues — or perhaps being in an unfamiliar house triggered some of this behavior. She should be told.
Say, “We really enjoyed having you over. I need to let you know that Timmy had some adventures while we were in the other room. No harm done, but I think you should be aware of it because it was pretty unusual.”
Dear Amy: You’ve been running letters from people affected by unemployment.
As a former educator at an outplacement organization, I can tell you the people who are most devastated at losing their jobs are those 45 and older. They actually believe that no one will hire them because of their age.
That is the biggest misconception in the job market today. Companies today do not and cannot afford to train workers. Therefore, they want to hire someone who can step in and do the job from Day One.
The older job candidate’s resume must speak of their experience as it relates to the job they are seeking.
I was hired at 59 and again when I was 62.
The point is, you’re not old, you’re experienced — and that is why people hire you! — Bob
Dear Bob: I recently read that the more experienced pool of candidates for temporary census workers (due to high unemployment) means that this decade’s census may get done ahead of time and under budget.
I’ll add another quality that older people bring to the workforce: gratitude. Working beats not working every time, and older workers realize this very keenly.
Dear Amy: You suggested that three people carpooling should share the cost of a parking ticket.
Why? You have one offender, and that person should pay the ticket.
If that employee was late because the employer needed his services beyond the normal quitting hour, then the employee should be reimbursed.
I don’t see any reason why the other riders should be responsible. — Logical Lola in Connecticut
Dear Logical: Sharing the cost (within reason) provides all three parties an incentive to keep the others on time. If one person perpetually holds up the other two, the majority can pressure him to pay.
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