In just the right light — when the sun sets or rises and the sky casts a rosy hue over the Front Range — my house looks sort of pretty.
It’s hard to see the cobwebs that cling to the exterior or the chipping paint on the front door. Weeds blur into the bluegrass on the lawn, and the bushes look rustic, not ratty.
Sadly, when we put our home on the market, we can’t require people to avoid looking at the house in broad daylight.
Though it’s a tough market, my husband and I decided it makes little sense to live in such a large house when he works an hour away, and we’re almost empty-nesters.
Pay attention to the details here, people. Key word: “almost.”
While our oldest son has fled this nest, our youngest two decided that it would be best to finish their last year of college at home to avoid those pesky loans that plagued their parents for years. Two 20-somethings mean 20-something girlfriends, and 20-something large, grocery- consuming buddies — along with assorted visiting animals who hiss and growl at our critters.
On one slushy day in February, I came home, noted the mud tracked across the hardwood floor and spotted a new pet stain in the office. I turned my head left and right as I climbed the stairs and said, “Hello Dog? Hello Cat? Hello Rat!”
I peeked in a cage and greeted a visiting pet rat. That’s just wrong.
That’s also when I decided it was time to sell our house.
Selling a house is a stressful, sometimes heartbreaking and always arduous journey. Perhaps you’re in a similar situation, or can relate to difficulties of selling a home in a crummy market. Whether you’re selling for the first time or you’re an old hand, I’ll share some tips.
Looking up
Let me start here. Tip No. 1: If you’re short, look up.
I stand 5 feet 3 inches. Anything above around 5 feet 5 is invisible to me. This includes, in no particular order, the tops of bookshelves and refrigerators, corners of ceilings where spiders hang out in their webs, and light fixtures hanging high and proud and grimy. The real estate agent we called spotted it all.
My proudest moment? When she pointed up at the kitchen ceiling, where it appeared a pot of spaghetti sauce had rivaled Mount Vesuvius. I was tempted to say it was a work of art — sort of a pointillism/modern art deal — but I knew the tall woman wouldn’t buy it.
I confess that my agent is a trusted acquaintance. We’ve known her for more than a dozen years; she helped us buy this house when it was sparkling and nearly new. Her job now is more difficult: Saying we’ve put a little wear and tear on it is like saying 60 is the new 40.
When Jan walked into my house, I looked fondly back on the relatively mild anxiety attack that had me clutching my chest when my mother-in-law visited.
Like most good professionals, Jan is perfectly put together. She’s smart and confident, not to mention tall. In short, which I am, she’s everything I always wanted to be.
No matter how I try, there will be a ketchup stain somewhere on my boring beige sweater. I tend to babble when I’m nervous. I’d never make it as a Realtor. I exude confidence like a lemming exudes independence.
So why did I call Jan, if I know I’ll be shaking in my worn thrift-store flats while admiring the heels she found at Neiman Marcus? Because she’s great at her job. Forget what I said about the “look up if you’re short” being the No. 1 tip. You’ll struggle without a good professional helping to guide you. Do your research. It’s easy to find success rates and kudos from happy clients. We knew Jan was kind and ethical; which is to say — she’s honest.
Which stinks. Because the first thing she did, as honestly and kindly as possible, was point out everything in the house that had to be replaced, repaired, refurbished or removed to sell it. And that reduced me to a wreck.
Looking down
I think of Carole King’s song “Tapestry” when I glance down in my house: “My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue.”
It’s as if our carpets, and even our hardwood floor, document our many colorful years in this home.
That red stain in the music room? A party where a friend had one too many glasses of red wine. No, a wine glass will not balance on a harmonica.
Ah, great times.
The scuffed-up hardwood in front of the steps? Lesson to middle son: A steel-wool scrub pad is no way to get rid of that stuck-on TV dinner spilled at 2 a.m.
The various orange, yellow and brownish stains in the house need no explanation. Unless you don’t have dogs and cats and can’t understand their many digestive disorders. No joke: I plan to make a fortune inventing cat and dog food colored to match your carpet. Fine, laugh away when that cat chow the color of a berber carpet flies off the shelf.
Finally, a trip into our master bathroom reveals a little about me. Don’t look at the roots of my hair. They’re likely gray (but don’t tell me — I don’t want to know). About every other week, I sport a new hair color. And I do it all myself, as I’m thrifty and efficient. Efficient means I move quickly, which means a little dye might slop just a little here and there. The carpet near the sink documents the three months I was a redhead. That Rorschach-like stain near the closet? I made it one week as a brunette before deciding on a sandy blond shade, illustrated by the splotch near the tub.
The grand total
How much it costs to sell a home in need of repairs depends entirely on how handy you are, and how much time you have to spare.
My husband has little of the latter, and I have none of the former. Painting, anyone will tell you, is easy. Unless your dining room’s cathedral ceiling has been faux finished, then it gets tricky. Still, that’s a job for those boys.
Having seen my stellar housekeeping skills, my agent advised getting a professional housecleaner in to get all those “little spots” that homeowners might not see. Like grubby baseboards, mildewed showers and tomato-sauce-splattered ceilings.
Since I’m holding onto every cent, I plan to tackle a project a day with eyes wide open.
I’ll start with decluttering, which was my agent’s biggest area of concern. My husband refuses to part with thousands of CDs that line walls along all three levels of the house. I may have as many shoes as the music guru has discs. And years of living with kids means piles of clutter. Childhood toys that “might be worth something.” Right. Video game equipment everywhere. Knickknacks on every shelf.
Our family will tackle that pronto. The stuff we can’t do will drink up some of our savings. Carpeting part of the house will be close to $3,000. A little more than $1,000 to refinish the hardwood seems like a good deal. We’ll have a pro rip out our stained carpet and put down tile. There’s $700 we’ll kiss goodbye. Other odds and ends, like replacing the kitchen sink (slippery Crock Pot plus enameled sink equals trouble) and getting rid of some mildew downstairs, and we’re looking at around $5,000.
Anyone who has sold a house knows this: You finally have the house of your dreams, sparkling and decluttered, and you have to move out.
My hope is that my husband and I will be able to move into another sparkling, decluttered home. One that’s smaller and willing to be our next tapestry.
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Keeping your sanity while selling your house
Time it. Home sales are highest in spring and early summer. Consider putting the house on the market soon.
Do your research before you settle on a real estate agent. A referral from a trusted friend or acquaintance is always a good idea. You might also meet an agent you like at an open house. Do research and ensure the agent’s website is professional and that he or she is proficient at using the latest technology.
Find out what the homes in your neighborhood are selling for. Don’t just note the pricet, take a look at the homes carefully. If they have new carpet and marble counters in the kitchen, and you have dingy carpets and stained counters, look into the cost of improving. It’s a good time to be competitive.
Take a look at the outside. If the paint is chipping, the bushes are overgrown and the wicker furniture on the front porch is disintegrating, your home lacks curb appeal. In this market, that’s all-important.
Consider hiring a home-stager — someone who can suggest ways to move your furniture around and declutter.
The good news? There are a whole lot of companies out there looking for work — from those who specialize in home repairs and painting to those who focus on carpeting or refinishing floors. Get references and make sure that each company is certified.
