Imagine a world where your feelings are valued as much as your intelligence — in fact, one where emotions feed intelligence. American society has a way to go in terms of valuing emotion, but according to speaker and author Sue Lee, without emotional intelligence, our currently prized IQ (intelligence quotient) really means zilch.
“Emotional intelligence is the utilization of your emotions, your thoughts, the words in your head and the words you say out loud, and the actions you take in order to make a positive difference in your environment,” she said. Lee points out that emotional intelligence is not just having good social skills, it could effectively be the difference between surviving and thriving in life. “The reason you are where you are and the reason I am where I am is because we made the decision. If you don’t believe in yourself and you say, “I can’t do it, I’m stupid, I’m dumb.” “It’s [about] where you take the action,” she added.
Citing research that states a child’s emotional development is built into the architecture of the brain, Lee emphasizes why that fact is important: “There is a direct correlation between the actual architecture of the brain and an individual’s emotional development up until the age of 9 years,” she shared. “When we’re born, the brain is 25 percent of the size it will be. As we develop, a lot of the emotional development grows with it. As our brain starts to ‘self-prune’ and becomes impacted in our skull, the patterns we don’t use fall away. It’s important because it has to deal with the architecture of our brains and how we function as adults.” The effect is that kids who grow up with positive development have more positive self-talk and higher self esteem. “I think the most important conversation anyone can have in any given day is the one in their own head,” she emphasized.
“The National Scientific Counsel on the Developing Child is trying to get this across to people. Life is what you participate in, not what happens to you. Who we truly are is how we respond to what happens to us. As educators, we should be teaching emotional intelligence. Our EQ (emotional quotient) allows us to put our IQ to work.”
In the early 90s, Lee, a former elementary school educator, developed a program called “Implementing Your Body’s Potential,” designed to help individuals coordinate their lives on a physical, mental and spiritual level. For years, she worked with organizations like Lockheed Martin, Clemson University and the Army Air Force Exchange, and continually heard participants in her classes say “If only I had this information when I was growing up!” and “I wish I had this information as a child.”
Lee then realized her work was catering to “little boys and little girls in adult bodies.” She decided the best way to help people and the easiest way to impart such important information was to go directly to the root and teach essential life skills to kids during their formative years. That realization led her to develop “I Believe in Me!,” a program for pre-school kids that focuses on life skills or “EQ,” emotional intelligence.
While spelling, math and writing are IQ skills, being able to encourage oneself and to encourage others are high emotional intelligence skills. “Children learn by observation, interaction, participation. They’re constantly observing, learning, recording, taking it in. Everything,” she reminded.
With “I Believe in Me,” children can observe and interact with onscreen activities. Lee uses color as the anchor to deliver positive messages to the viewer while activating both the left and right hemispheres of the brain. The end product is having a child make positive connections between emotions, words, thoughts and actions, thus ensuring they have tools to navigate life positively as they develop and grow.
Last year, “I Believe in Me” won the Parents’ Choice Awards Silver Honors. Since 1978, the Parents Choice Awards have helped parents make informed decisions about choosing the best products for their children. Silver Honors, the second highest in the Parent’s Choice Awards, are given to products that “entertain while helping children develop universally ethical attitudes, and rigorous standards and skills.”
With messages like “Be kind, be nice.” delivered with interactive visuals along with color and music, “I Believe in Me!” proves itself to be a fun, interactive way for kids to gain EQ skills, without even knowing they’re learning.
Lee points out that unlike IQ, emotional intelligence can improve over a lifetime. Of course for best results, she suggests beginning the process in childhood, as doing so gives children more trust in themselves, allowing them to use intelligence to its fullest. “It is your desire and your want, and who you want to become that allows you to become the person you are,” she said.
Doni Luckutt is a lifestyle expert who believes by enhancing interpersonal connection, we can stop simply living, and become Simply Alive! If you have a suggestion on what brings you to life, connect with her on Twitter @SimplyAlive, via email Doni@SimplyAliveWorld.com or on her blog: www.SimplyAliveWorld.com/Blog.
