Dear Margo: This may be typical, but it’s driving me crazy. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years. During the past two or three, he started playing a computer game called World of Warcraft. He “met” a girl on this game, and they started gaming together, as well as chatting and e-mailing each other. I suspect they also traded cell phone numbers. Apparently, she started playing with someone else, and when my boyfriend got jealous, she ceased all communication with him. I knew about her all along, but when he told me about this “jealousy” issue, I told him it was me or the game. He quit playing.
Last year he told me he was interested in playing again, and I gave him the go-ahead under the conditions that we would play together on a different server. That didn’t work out so well (I’m so not a gamer chick), so eventually the two of them started talking again and are now playing together again. I finally coerced my boyfriend into admitting that this girl is “here to stay” in our life together, but I still can’t get the idea to sink into my head.
I know my boyfriend loves me, and we’ve discussed getting married, but I just can’t seem to shake whatever issue it is I have with this girl. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to rebuild my trust in him, so I’m wondering if I’m standing on the last straw that’s about to break. — Gamer’s Girlfriend
Dear Game: Women of a certain age (that would be me) are not “gamer chicks,” so bear in mind that you and I are from different generations. Looking at your situation, however, from my experience (not with games, with men), I would say that any guy who is seriously mixed up with playing a game online (forget the partner-player who is a thorn in your side) would be a no-go. Also, because you say this isn’t the first time he has cast a shadow on his trustworthiness, I would agree with you that the last straw is about to break, and we will skip the reference to the camel’s back. — Margo, recommencingly
It Is Called “Co-Parenting” for a Reason
Dear Margo: I’ve been married to my husband for 10 years. We have two kids, ages 5 and 2, and another on the way. We both work full-time jobs and only have weekends off. It seems that lately hubby’s always off playing golf or working out for hours at a time on the weekends. I get so irritated because I’m stuck at home looking after the kids while he’s elsewhere having fun. I rarely have any free time on the weekends because he’s off “doing his thing.” By the time he gets home, we both do “family time” with the kids.
I just want to know whether I’m being unreasonable to expect him not to have his “alone time” on the weekends. Do you think I should just let him do this because he’s a good provider and father otherwise? — Wanting To Be Fair
Dear Want: It is hard for me to know exactly how much your husband is absenting himself on the weekends. If you feel as though he’s entertaining himself away from the house all of Saturday and Sunday during daylight hours and his picture should be on a milk carton, then by all means tell him you’d like some time to yourself, as well, and suggest that some adjustment is called for.
If it’s only part of a day, tell him the same thing: You would like some time to yourself. Then work out a flexible schedule. I do not think anyone should constantly be with little kids without a break if they can possibly help it. — Margo, fairly
Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers’ daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
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