Scott McInnis — tanned, rested and apparently ready to throw his old friend Rolly Fischer under the bus again — is back.
I don’t know what to say except that if you ever spot a guy with a cheesy mustache — or someone who looks like he recently shaved off a cheesy mustache — hanging around the bus depot, do not go near the curb.
Like many of you, I never expected to hear from McInnis again. I figured he would go into exile — or back to his life as lawyer-lobbyist anyway — and live out his remaining years in anonymity and (if possible for a politician) shame.
I’m not sure what I would have advised McInnis to do with his post-humiliation life as The Plagiarist Who Lost To Dan Maes. But I know what he shouldn’t have done.
McInnis shouldn’t have told Post columnist Penny Parker that he sees himself still as a viable candidate for higher office, if, you know, the opportunity were right. And he shouldn’t have told Parker that his name was smeared and that the, uh, truth of the situation will soon be told.
If he said anything, in fact, he might have gone with the notion of dedicating his life to serving others — although possibly not serving them elk.
Where to begin? Remarkably, McInnis begins by saying he might run for office again “if the situation is right.” Of course, the situation will never be right. As in, absolutely never. Some politicians do make comebacks, but this is not Nixon losing to Kennedy by a percentage point. This is losing to Dan “Make That Donation in Cash” Maes. This is losing in a primary race that no one could possibly lose.
Come on, this is losing in a race that would doom Colorado Republicans to sure defeat against John Hickenlooper despite a nationwide Republican wave. And, as a bonus, McInnis’ implosion led to the Republican disarray that probably cost Ken Buck at least a point or two in his eventual loss to Michael Bennet.
It’s worse than that, of course. Republicans have only themselves — or Dick Wadhams — to blame. But the McInnis disaster also opened Coloradans of all persuasions to months of dangerous exposure to Tom Tancredo, the well-known 30-percenter who would later say — in a prime example of self-delusion — that on Election Day he actually thought he was going to win.
If you’ve noticed, there’s a lot of self-delusion going around. I wonder if this problem is specific to people who become politicians, or is it because politicians, like athletes and reality-TV contestants, suffer their defeats so publicly?
For example, what in the world would bring Nancy Pelosi to the conclusion that she should lead the Democrats in the U.S. House again? You can make the argument that she was unfairly demonized for years, but I’m not sure what fairness has to do with politics. Democrats suffered huge losses in the House. She is, by most accounts, the least popular politician in America — less popular possibly than Dick Cheney. Does one really need to say more?
Well, if you’re McInnis, one does. He says he plans to clear his name. Actually, what he told Penny Parker was that “we’re going to clear our name,” meaning, if nothing else, the state was spared a governor who employs the first-person plural.
McInnis apparently plans to tell the true story of the “older gentleman” who wrote the “Musings on Water” papers for him and — in McInnis’ version of the story — didn’t footnote properly. But there is no clearing of “our” name. Whatever happened — and there are only a few plausible scenarios — it is clearly non-clearable.
Here’s what we know: McInnis took the $300,000 from the Hasan Family Foundation for writing papers that were worth maybe $300. And whatever work he was supposed to have done, he apparently farmed out to an uncredited researcher. If McInnis paid Fischer to do his research — and to do his writing — I’m guessing it was a little less than $300,000 and maybe something closer to what Dan Maes paid for a campaign meal at Denny’s.
So, either McInnis did the plagiarizing himself or he paid someone, to whom he gave no credit, to do the work — and then didn’t bother to even check it.
It gets better. McInnis says the way he plans to clear “our” name is by issuing a statement. Think about this. Who will write the statement? How will we know? Will it be notarized? Will it be time-stamped? Will it come with a do-it-yourself (or ourself) lie-detector test?
You may remember when McInnis’ campaign sent Fischer a North Korea-style confession for him to sign. Yes, these people wanted Fischer to sign a confession — concerning plagiarism — that Fischer had not actually written. Fischer wisely refused to go along and then did his devastating interview with 7News’ John Ferrugia. And that was pretty much that.
Until now. McInnis says the reason he’s back is that his reputation is on the line, which I find strange. Because according to my schedule, that train — or was it a bus? — left months ago.
Mike Littwin writes Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Reach him at 303-954-5428 or mlittwin@denverpost.com.
