Debra Fine doesn’t sweat the small stuff. The Denverite has made a living and built a national reputation as an expert on small talk.
On Thanksgiving, an occasion that can be filled with heated discussions often fueled by too much liquid holiday cheer, she has compiled a list of top 10 conversation land mines from her book, “The Fine Art of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills — and Leave a Positive Impression.”
“Thanksgiving can mean the ideal family get-together or a day of awkward moments, uncomfortable silences and eruptions of family feuds,” Fine says.
Her Top 10 Conversation Land Mines:
• “What’s the name of that woman who came in second on ‘American Idol’ last season?” Uncle Ted asks. Fingers start flying on BlackBerrys to find the answer.
“Avoid technology at the dinner table.”
• “Were your twins natural?” or “Do you plan on breast-feeding?”
“Only at Octomom’s Thanksgiving table would these topics be up for discussion.”
• “I knew your candidate did not stand a chance. What do you have to say for yourself now?”
“Get out of these heated conversations by offering, ‘I guess we just do not see eye to eye,’ and change the subject.”
• “Are you two ever going to get married?”
“Back off! If they wanted you to know their intimate intentions, they would be sure to send you a memo.”
• “No, thanks. I gave up drinking after I saw the toll it took on you.”
“Making someone feel bad about him- or herself does not typically motivate better behavior.”
• “Cool Whip is interesting. Did you ever think of serving the real stuff instead?”
“Who asked for your opinion? Don’t offer advice unless solicited.”
• “Aren’t you full yet?” or “Why aren’t you eating anything?”
“Leave us alone about what we eat or don’t eat, and worry about what you put in your own mouth.”
• “You were too good for her.”
“This is letting your son know that he has really bad taste. And what will you do if they patch up their relationship and get back together?”
• “I see you still can’t be bothered with ironing a shirt.”
“Leave her alone. Her priorities are not the same as yours.”
• “Did you cook this yourself, or did you just thaw it out?”
“You are putting the host/hostess on the spot. Instead, ask for the recipe after the meal.” The host or hostess can also pull the coy card and say, “The recipe is a family tradition that is not shared outside the family.”
Mission accomplished.
Operation Turkey Trot is a joint effort spearheaded by Andrew Rogers, general manager of the Ritz-Carlton Denver, and Jay Weinstein, chief operating officer of St. Anthony Central Hospital, and their employees to collect and donate turkeys to the Denver Rescue Mission. The project resulted in 640 birds.
Other Trotters on the team were Ortho Colorado Hospital, St. Anthony Health Foundation, Sodexo, Panorama Orthopedics & Spine Center, GE Johnson and Hammes Co.
Homebuilder D.R. Horton Colorado will redeem coupons from an ad that ran in The Post that people dropped off. The builder will use them to purchase 600 turkeys the day after Thanksgiving and will deliver them to the Rescue Mission, which earlier this month put out the plea when supplies were severely short.
EAVESDROPPING
Me:
“Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.”
Penny Parker’s column appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday. Listen to her on “Caplis & Silverman” between 4 and 5 p.m. Fridays on KHOW-630 AM. Call her at 303-954-5224 or e-mail pparker@denverpost.com.
