Is your perfect Valentine’s Day gift a man with compassion, wisdom and, of course, good looks? Pick up a romance book, woman. But they’re also out there in real life, says one of the thousands of writers who bring swarthy lords to life for all of us damsels in distress.
Oh come on, you offended modern- day women: Even contemporary damsels have some distress. We’ve been deserted by the jerk we thought was our one true love. We’re penniless. We work too many hours. We’re raising our brilliant but mischievous child on our own. And we’re downright lonely. We need a fine-lookin’ man to pull us out of this slump.
Who better to ask for romantic advice around Valentine’s Day than a romance writer? Audra Harders has been a member of Romance Writers of America and Colorado Romance Writers for 18 years.
Her recent book, “Rocky Mountain Hero” (Harlequin/Steeple Hill Books), features the quintessential hunk on its cover. He’s looking lean and mean in his cowboy hat and jeans, and as an added attraction, women, he’s framed by a backdrop of the Rocky Mountains.
Harders, who has been married for 21 years to her own hero, has two college-age kids.
“My husband is my hero,” she says. “I love his patience with me, his faith in God, and his sense of humor when everything is falling apart. He’s a man I can look up to.”
She offers these tips about romance to women. And men, you’d be wise to pay attention.
Q: Did you fall for your man the moment you set eyes on him?
A: As a writer of romance, I’d love to say it was love at first sight. But way back in fourth grade when we met, it was more like “Ewww, boys are gross.” Glad I got over that nonsense.
Q: The romantic man in your novel is really a good guy. I’ve heard that women are drawn to “bad boys.” Is this a myth?
A: The “bad boy” image is the heart of the romance novel. For years, books were written about the tall, dark and brooding hero. The man no woman could tame. Then along comes a feisty, strong and intriguing heroine, and the guy is a goner. It was the strength of the strong, self-assured woman that attracted millions of faithful readers. Then along came the “good guy” who actually knew how to treat a woman well. His appeal came in the sense that yes, he is respectful, but don’t mistake that characteristic for being a doormat. No, the good guy has his own set of principles, and the woman who wants to win his heart had better live up to those standards.
Q: It’s almost Valentine’s Day. Help all those guys out there who say they don’t have any romance in them. What can you do or say that will tell her you love her?
A: Time is such a commodity these days. Set aside a portion of that precious time and go for a walk together, sit in the yard — or kitchen, or living room — and talk. And as you talk, really listen to what she’s saying. Nothing can touch a woman’s heart more than knowing what she has to say is important to the man she loves.
Q: What’s the most romantic Valentine’s Day gift you’ve ever received? And while you’re at it, can you offer other suggestions to the men out there who haven’t a clue?
A: For me, knowing my husband wants to share his hobbies with me and include me in every aspect of his life is very romantic. I mean really, how can a girl live without Sorel boots? A Diawa fishing pole? Be creative. Think about the things you can do together, and show her she’s invited along for the ride.
