“What do you want for Father’s Day?” I ask my husband, Dan.
“No ties or sweaters,” he says, without a second’s hesitation.
“Fine, I’ll never get you a tie, if you never get me a toaster.”
“Are you still sore about that waffle iron?”
“How about something for the yard?”
“And no gifts that are really for you.”
Busted.
OK, so maybe in the past I have bought Dan gifts that were thinly veiled nudges toward home improvements I wanted: a fancy painting gadget that let him apply paint with crisp edges in tight corners, a lawn edger that looked like a golf club, deluxe outdoor barbecue tools that let him make believe he was grill guru Steven Raichlen.
And even though I know Dan wants a new mulcher as much as I want a new mop, buying for guys is tough.
Buying for me is so easy!
But stuck in this gift-giving bind, I recently asked one father about his absolute worst Father’s Day gift; he said it was a gift card. I get his point, though I relate to his family’s frustration.
So this year, as I mulled over the usual Father’s Day gift suspects, I tried to put my wishes aside — which just feels so unnatural, like setting aside my own liver — to think about what Dan would really want.
Then I lit on what every guy wants — though few would ask: a little less wanting and a little more appreciating.
Syndicated columnist and speaker Marni Jameson is the author of “House of Havoc” and “The House Always Wins” (Da Capo Press). Contact her through .
Dad dollars and sense
Instead of making dad drop unsubtle hints (“I sure wish someone would clean this garage”), how about giving him some props? Consider a list of all the times this year he sat through a freezing soccer game, washed your car, put money in the bank, turned down your sheets, got a better interest rate, caulked the windows, listened to your problems, ran to the drugstore in the night or fixed the sprinklers? A list like this, perhaps expressed in a handmade card with a smiling family photo enclosed, may be enough of a Father’s Day gesture. But if you still want to give the guy something to open, here are some thoughtful dad gadgets.
For car-buff dads — Ionic Clean (, $249) attaches to the end of a hose and filters minerals out of water, so when your guy washes the car, the water dries clear, leaving a spotless finish. Of course, if you give him this gift, you have to include a free carwash — or three — from the kids.
House Bonus: The gizmo is also great for washing windows, patio furniture and siding.
For techno dads — I love the person who invented the Charger Valet (expo , $79.99). This updated version of that little wood tray men use to park their coins, keys and cuff links also holds hand-held devices. So he can charge his phone, camera, Bluetooth and iPad while he sleeps.
House Bonus: That spider web of cords is gone.
For golfing dads — Consider a nylon, zippered Golf Cargo Bag (, $26.95). This one has compartments to keep golf shoes, tees, balls and other paraphernalia organized, and it fits flat in the car trunk.
House Bonus: Guys load up their muddy, grassy golf gear at the course and keep the turf out of the house.
For good-time dads — It didn’t take long for someone to invent the iBottle Opener (, $20). This is an iPhone case that has a built-in beer bottle opener. And, for guys who prefer stiffer drinks, there are these cubes called Whiskey Stones (, $19.95) that you put in the freezer, where they get cold as ice. Drop them in his favorite drink, and they’ll chill his beverage without diluting his spirits. House Bonus: A dad in good cheer benefits everyone.
For sports-fan dads — A Stencil Lawn Logo (, $79) kit lets him show his team pride on his own front lawn. This 52-inch, reusable lawn stencil comes with spray turf paint. Great when game day’s at your place.
Home Bonus: Because he knows the guys will be looking at his lawn, he’s more likely to mow it.
