Dear Amy: My sister is two years older than I, so when she went away to college my parents still had me at home with them.
Last year I also went away to college. I immediately became concerned about my parents. They only had two kids, my sister and me, and I knew that once we were both gone they were going to get very lonely. Last year I went home most weekends to see them.
Now I’m in my second year of college, and I’ve tried to tell myself that I won’t come home as often so I can focus on studies and making strong relationships at college.
However, I’m still worried about them. My dad has mentioned to me before how bored he gets at night after my mom goes to bed and he has nothing to do but watch TV on his own.
Basically, when my sister and I are gone I know they only work, sleep and watch TV. I don’t know what to do. I worry that they’re bored, lonely and depressed because nobody is home. I’ve suggested many times that maybe they should get a puppy or try new hobbies, and they’ve always told me that they work so much that they don’t have the energy for a hobby.
I always feel so bad and so guilty when I leave them because I know they’re going to go back to being sad. Is there anything that I can do? — Sad Sophomore
Dear Sad: It is natural for you to worry about your folks. But please remember that, just as you are responsible for your own life, they must also be responsible for theirs.
As long as you are running home every weekend to provide company, they won’t really have to face the reality of their lives, which is that they are going to have to make a transition and take responsibility for their own boredom. This is a tough transition, but one they have to make.
Give your folks a schedule of when they can expect to see you — maybe two or three times over the semester. They can look forward to these weekends, and having several weekends alone may compel them to develop strategies to deal with their empty nest.
Dear Amy: I’m getting married next year, and I’m so excited. I’m a really creative and hands-on bride, and I have everything pretty much planned.
We’re on a tight budget so we’ve decided to make everything ourselves, from the favors to the centerpieces and general decor. I’m excited, and my fiance and I have already finished the majority of the work with more than a year to go.
But when I talk about a wedding DIY project with friends and family, the majority of people immediately doubt that it can be finished in time, or say it’s too much work, or sometimes they will ask why I even bother.
What’s the best and most polite comeback to a downer response on my wedding DIY projects? — Crafty Bride
Dear Crafty: If you don’t like the way people respond to your ideas, you should pull back and stop sharing so much with them.
Craft a wedding celebration full of surprises for your guests.
Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
