You have a knack for Saint Nick — you’re either jolly or you’re not. Everything else in the Santa-for-hire game you can learn.
The 30 Kris Kringles who graduated Monday night after three days of boot camp with the Professional Santa School of Denver will pay off in the eyes of children and, hopefully, the bank accounts of those who don the red felt of Father Christmas.
“They come to us with big hearts, but we can teach them everything else,” said Susen Mesco, the master Santa Claus trainer.
In a conference hall full of jingling bells and jolly laughs, Santas learned their trade: be kind, polite, sunny, apolitical and unopinionated about all things other than the spirit of Christmas.
But most of all, they were told, remember not who they are but who they are supposed to be.
“For some children, the only person in the world they think they can talk to is Santa,” said Santa Mike Cawthro of Lakewood, a 4-year veteran of the yuletide game. “You have to be ready for any question.”
The Santa class trained on sign language, heard from a psychologist, worked with a 2-year-old, learned how to coax chat from gobsmacked tots and spent more than five hours on marketing and management, Mesco said.
The education was intense, but it seemed a small sacrifice to Paul Meenach of Evergreen, a rookie Santa whose wife, Sylvia, urged him to take up the trade as he retired from the car-wash industry.
An illness prevented him from shaving for 16 months, and his round figure made him a ringer.
Children began throwing him a sheepish wave and a knowing smile when they saw him in stores or around town, as though Saint Nick were keeping tabs on them throughout the year.
“That’s the best,” he said, starting to choke up. “It makes me cry.”
His own grandchildren, who attended his graduation, said he was the right elf for the job.
“He’s an old guy who’s always happy, and he loves making everyone else happy,” said his grandson, Chris Pettigrew, 18, of Colorado Springs.
“And he’s got the natural laugh,” said 11-year-old granddaughter Katelyn Meenach of Thornton.
Each aspiring Santa must pass a background check before being admitted to the school, which claims to have produced more than 1,500 professional Santas across the country since it began in 1983.
The work isn’t all malls, parades and toy stores. With the right skill set of ho-ho-hos, jellylike bellies and cherry-colored noses for business, the world is their stocking.
American Events, which puts on the Santa school, says it books Kris Kringles for corporate parties, sleigh rides and advertising. It offers group plans called “Santa in the ‘Hood,” which includes three or more visits to homes in the same neighborhood.
“Although we are not always recognized for each small magical gesture, when one Santa blunders, it truly affects us all,” the school tells its graduates on its Facebook page.
The Professional Santa School imparts the written “Santa Ethics”:
“Once we grow that beard or present ourselves in the red suit, the human aspect in all public arenas is no longer a pleasure we are allowed.
“We always remind the little ones that Santa will be keeping an eye on them. And we must remember the little ones always have their eyes on US to set the example of being GOOD.”
Joey Bunch: 303-954-1174 or jbunch@denverpost.com
