Not a good day. I’m getting a bad cold and I can’t reach my son to see if he wants to cancel bringing his 5-year-old over for the morning.
I had planned to visit a 101-year-old friend in the hospital. Tomorrow is my daughter’s busiest day at work, and I promised to take care of her newborn baby girl for the day.
“Poor me! My poor family!” I think. But really? I laugh with ironic insight, realizing that I and my kids have other resources. And my hospitalized friend is rallying.
Because here’s how it could be:
I could be the sick, single mother of a newborn, plus three older children who live with me, instead of a married grandmother of four kids who live across town. The friend in the hospital could be my own father. And I can’t afford to take off from my job which has granted no maternity leave, paid or unpaid.
Now there’s a real challenge.
A Post feature story about Rep. Jared Polis, D-Boulder, and his partner, Marlon Reis, attracts my attention. They have just become the parents of baby boy, CJ, and Polis, as a congressman, was able to take two weeks of parental leave.
But what if a new parent is not a congressperson?
The Family and Medical Leave act of 1994 mandates that private businesses with more than 50 employees need to grant 12 weeks of unpaid parental leave to a parent of a newborn or adopted child. It also provides unpaid time off to care for an ill parent or other family member.
Twelve weeks seems generous enough if you can afford the time off, but what if you cannot? Or what if you work for a smaller company?
I reach Congressman Polis on the floor of the House, and he expresses the same angst.
“When you go through it yourself, you realize how important this [bonding] is for baby and parents.”
Though Polis admits that adding a paid-leave section to the Family and Medical Leave Act would be hard sell in this economy, he wishes that taking parental leave could be a family decision, not a financial decision.
Rep. Diana DeGette, D-Denver, wistfully echoes the same sentiments. “The people running the House right now don’t believe we should have a government, say nothing of adding any government benefits.” In reality, she adds, “even if the Dems take over, you won’t see any push for paid leave until the economy gets better.”
Former Democratic Congresswoman Pat Schroeder, a prime sponsor of the Family and Medical Leave Act of 1994, weighs in by e-mail. Schroeder explains that the idea back then was to “take what you could get, then build on it.” But, to her chagrin, no “building” has occurred. “It’s been 18 years with no expansion!”
The United States ranks at the very bottom of developed countries in its provision of family leave. Canada, for example, grants a full year of leave to either a dad or a mom who works in a salaried position, in any company large or small, at a 55 percent government reimbursement rate.
It’s hard to imagine such largess here. So, what do we do?
Actually, as businesses realize that generous parental leave can build employee loyalty and increase productivity, some things are being done voluntarily in the private sector. But not nearly enough.
A recent Urban Institute Study reveals that of all employers of all sizes, only 15 percent grant pay-assisted maternity leave, and only 13 percent for paternity leave.
Clearly my “hypothetical” single mom at the beginning of this piece is employed by a company within the other 85 percent. I feel helpless in her presence because she is not hypothetical, she is real.
Helpless, and sad. Because in this season of giving, I can guarantee her no new policies. I can only wish her an improved economy and a boss with a heart.
Dottie Lamm, former first lady of Colorado, is a social worker and author of “Daddy on Board; Parenting Roles for the 21st Century.”
