Dear Amy: Next month my beloved wife and I will celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary. My wife has three children from previous
marriages. All three children have had successful careers.
My wife and I have good relationships with her children, whereas the oldest child is somewhat distant from the younger two.
Recently, I asked my wife if her children were planning a celebration of our 50th anniversary, a usual practice if I read the papers correctly.
She replied that she knew of no such plans, and knowing her, she will not probe the children or ask them to step up.
I support her position entirely. On the other hand, I will be disappointed if her children do not make any formal acknowledgment of this anniversary, but I would not be surprised.
Should we just go ahead and plan our own modest observance? — Sad Dad
Dear Dad: You should definitely plan to celebrate this impressive milestone in your marriage.
Don’t make it “modest,” however. Throw yourselves a giant blowout, if possible.
You should consider the idea that these three adults are actually planning something on their own — children sometimes try to plan a surprise celebration for this occasion.
When you make your plans, make sure to let the kids know well in advance; if they are already planning something, they can indicate it to you — otherwise, do not let their inattention throw you off course.
Dear Amy: It is now February and we still don’t know what to do with a Christmas gift we received from my husband’s son and his bride.
They were married last summer, and for Christmas they mailed us four huge, unframed, poster-size pictures of their wedding.
I’m sure they spent a lot of money on these pictures, and I’m guessing they expect us to proudly display them.
My husband called and graciously thanked them for the pictures and said, “We’re not quite sure where we’ll put them yet.”
Framing them would cost us a fortune, and then where would we put them? We don’t have wall space for one of these posters — let alone four!
We would have gladly displayed a smaller size with other family pictures we have throughout our home, but these billboards are overwhelming!
Our son is our only child and we get along great with his bride.
We live on opposite coasts and don’t see each other often, so they haven’t been to our home yet to see what we’ve done with them, nor have they asked — so what should we do? — Overwhelmed
Dear Overwhelmed: You must assume kindly that these billboards are a reflection of this couple’s regard for themselves and their movie star status in your lives. Overall, that is a good thing.
I suggest that you have these photos mounted on stiff foam board — it is a very inexpensive and lightweight alternative to framing.
Stack and store the billboards underneath your guest bed. When the kids come to visit you can easily pull them out and display one or more of them around the place, creating the impression that you are a party to their grandiosity, which would probably make them very happy.
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