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The late comedian George Carlin had a hilarious and poignant rant about stuff, about how” all you need in life is a little place for your stuff.”

You never realize how much stuff you have until you move from one little place to another, and having just gone through such a thing, I’m amazed at how much fitness and outdoors stuff has accumulated.

Three exercise balls, one of which is so covered in cat fur, it looks like an enormous hairball. Many exercise bands of varying tensile strengths, not one of which has ever been used. So many rafting dry bags that we probably could have moved everything from one house to another packed in dry bags (it’s true; we never say no to an unwanted yet still intact dry bag). Water bottles by the dozen. Backpacks we can’t bear to part with, even though the straps are falling apart or some of the zippers are jammed.

We made multiple treks to Goodwill to share some of the better items and threw a few things away, but wound up boxing a lot of it to simply shuffle the stuff to the next little place. We say we’ll go through it later and get rid of more, but by then, we’ll have obtained more stuff.

“That’s what your house is,” Carlin said, “a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get … more stuff!”

GEAR HEADS UP

Another new leash on life. Speaking of stuff, after I wrote about , a Colorado company wanted to weigh in with its own retractable leash, which I tested on our dog, Roscoe, who believes all products are good if they are followed by copious amounts of chicken-flavored snacks.

Here’s what Roscoe’s people think of the LeashLocket: It works as advertised, which is to say that it attaches to the dog’s collar via a snap-on piece and magnet, and then the handle is a plastic piece that lets the leash out until you hit the button to stop it, up to 6 feet.

The upside to this arrangement is that the dog carries the leash around for you, so it’s convenient when you’re taking the dog in the car to the park, and you can just grab the handle off the collar — which isn’t instantaneous, because the weight of it, even at less than 4 ounces for a larger pooch, means it’s always sitting under the dog’s chin.

The main downside is that it’s too awkward to leave on all the time, so it’s still another leash (and a small one, at that) you need to keep track of. Also, in hot weather, the plastic makes your hand sweaty, and if your dog is a yanker, that can be an inconvenient combination. And if your dog really pulls hard, this is not the leash for you. $24.99,

ROOM REPORT

Be J.R. of “Dallas” for a week. Vista Verde Ranch, near Steamboat Springs, is offering the chance to “own” the ranch for a week Sept. 30-Oct. 7 for $50,000 for up to 10 people (or $70,000 for up to 15). The fee includes accommodations in the cabins, meals, beer and wine, airport transfers, all activities (including horseback riding), instruction and equipment and gratuities. “Owners” can schedule everything, pick the meals and evening programs. Visit .

Kyle Wagner: 303-954-1599 or outwest@denverpost.com