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Dear J.T. & DALE: My boss is under a lot of pressure. With working full time, taking care of her terminally ill mom and raising four kids, she is burnt out. She broke down and cried during an all-staff meeting and made a huge mistake that cost the client thousands of dollars. We’re worried that she’ll make another mistake. Is it wrong to approach the woman above her and ask if our manager can be taken off the project for a while?

– Kyle

DALE: It isn’t just wrong to go over your manager’s head – it’s foolhardy. Here’s why: What is the distinguishing trait of your boss’s boss? She’s a BOSS. And what are you? An employee sneaking around his boss. So, who’s she likely to side with? Not good old Kyle. No, she is going to see the maneuver as a junior person trying to tell her how to manage her people. Even if you are operating with the purest heart, it will seem to your boss’s boss like a breach of protocol and a Machiavellian maneuver.

J.T.: While it’s wonderful, Kyle, that you care so much about your boss and your clients, I have to agree that going around your manager is not the solution. Instead, set up a private meeting with her and tell her flat-out that you’re worried. However, instead of talking about your concerns over her mistakes, focus on how you could help. Offer to take things off her plate. If she refuses to delegate tasks to you, then ask her what will happen if there is another major mistake. Ask “What will upper management think?” Just mentioning it might be the push she needs to accept your help.

DALE: Agreed. Instead of asking yourself, “Who should I warn?” ask “How can I help?” This is your chance to be a hero. By jumping in to help, then and only then could you put your boss in a position to go to upper management and ask for time off. After all, she’d then have a plan in place – that’s you, Kyle The Hero – to make things go smoothly in her absence.

Dear J.T. & Dale: I have been working as a personal assistant to an executive for three years. It’s a great part-time job, and I get to work from home. Recently, his business grew and they hired a young woman out of college. I went on vacation and she covered for me. When I got back, I got a long email from the executive telling me all the changes in how we’d work. I guess the new girl took it upon herself to point out where she thought I could be doing a better job. I am furious. It’s clear she wants my job. Because I work remotely, I’m not there to defend myself.
– Britney

J.T.: You are jumping to conclusions, Britney. She has a job, and from the sounds of it, she can keep growing with the company without squeezing you out. I think you need to recognize that you are a business-of-one and your favorite client is having a better customer-service experience with another business-of-one. If I were you, I would not only cooperate with your executive’s requests, but I’d also figure out how to befriend the young woman. You have more experience/knowledge, and you can help her achieve her career goals without her taking your job. Look at this as an opportunity to secure your job while creating an on-site ally.

DALE: That’s great advice. I know it seems unfair to be expected to maneuver around a junior employee, but she has the advantage of being at the office and having the boss’s ear. Your job is to figure out where your experience and knowledge will be most helpful to her and your boss, and to work with both of them to be the best possible team. Keep working at making the team better, and you’ll establish yourself as something more than just another part-time, remote employee – that is, you’ll become a great teammate.

– Workplace consultant and career coach J.T. O’Donnell has coached, trained and mentored employees and managers on a wide variety of career-related subjects since 1994. Her book, “CAREEREALISM: The Smart Approach to A Satisfying Career” is available at JTODonnell.com. Management guru Dale Dauten has written six books and is an authority on innovation in the workplace. His latest book, “Great Employees Only: How Gifted Bossess Hire & Dehire Their Way to Success” is available at Dauten.com. copyright 2013 King Features.