Think Tank, Nuggets!
Lose 31 More For Okafor. Win Nil For Jahlil.
For sighing out loud, the Nuggets should septic-tank the year to have a legitimate chance to draft the best college basketball player in the land.
The Nuggets have become the most wretched, rancid, rotten team in the NBA. They’re everybody’s homecoming game opponent.
Since Jan. 16, the taste-like-chicken Nuggets have produced the league’s worst record (1-12) and been outscored by an average of nearly 12 points per game. During that 0-for-three weeks Denver dumpster fire, Philadelphia, which doesn’t want to ever win, has three victories, Minnesota four and New York five.
Nobody else in the NBA has lost this season to all of these other bottom feeders — Timberwolves, Knicks, 76ers, Celtics, Lakers, Kings and, on Friday night, Pistons. Own it, Nuggets. They own a 9-20 record against teams .500 or higher.
Brian Shaw, ex-coach in waiting, recently told The Denver Post he wouldn’t mind losing every game the rest of the season if the Nuggets played hard.
He’s somewhat right. The Nuggets are losing just about every game, but they aren’t playing hard.
So, the Denver Fuggetaboutits must blow it up, shut it down and try to lose the remaining 31 games. That dubious achievement won’t be too difficult. Only eight winnable games are left.
The 15 games on the road are locks to lose. Six of the 16 games at The Can are against playoff-quality teams. The Nuggets just have to finesse the other 10.
Let’s see if Shaw can really coach — by losing on purpose. His mantra should be: “I tank; therefore, I am.”
And, therefore, Okafor.
Tank? Other teams are doing it now. Other teams have been doing it for decades.
You think the 76ers, Wolves, Knicks and Lakers haven’t developed a stink-and-sink approach? Management cringes each time the team wins.
The pathetic teams want to win the lottery as much as I want to win Powerball.
Naysayers say the Nuggets can’t get the No. 1 overall pick for the first time in the franchise’s history in the NBA.
Yes, they can, I say.
After Friday night’s defeat at Detroit, the Nuggets were tied with Indiana for the eighth-worst record (19-32). Ahead in the race to the nethermost were New York and Minnesota (10-40), Philly (11-40), the Lakers (13-37), Orlando (16-37), Utah (17-33) and Sacramento (17-31).
The Timberwolves, Knicks and 76ers will be tough to catch. However, the Nuggets could get to the No. 4 position even if, mistakenly, they win four or five games. Last season the two fourth-place teams won 25 games.
If the Nuggets stay where they are, the chances of winning No. 1 in the NBA lottery draw would be 2.8 or 1.7 percent. But if they reach the fourth spot, the odds increase to 11.9 percent. The team with the worst record has a 25 percent chance; second is 19.9 and third is 15.6.
The lottery’s inception was 1985. In 14 seasons the fourth or lower team has been chosen to select No. 1 overall. Go figure.
Jahlil Okafor, the 6-foot-11 Duke freshman averaging 18.2 points and 9.3 rebounds, is the consensus No. 1 pick. Emmanuel Mudiay, a 6-5 point guard who is playing in China rather than at SMU, is next up. And the third pick probably will be Kentucky freshman center Karl-Anthony Towns.
The Nuggets’ last No. 3 draft choice was Carmelo Anthony.
They trade Ty Lawson — Dr. Jekyll-Mr. DUI — and Arron Afflalo to contending teams for draft picks. They shake up the starting lineup and utilize a half-court, stand-around offense and a full-time zone defense.
The new starters at guard are Erick Green and Gary Harris. Jusuf Nurkic continues at center, and JaVale McGee will get a lot of time. Then the Nuggets have new player Joffrey Lauvergne and “Book ’em, Danilo” Gallinari at forwards.
Kenneth Faried, Jameer Nelson, Wilson Chandler and Alonzo Gee will come off the bench exclusively for 10 minutes per game.
“We’re not tanking,” Josh Kroenke and Tim Connelly declare publicly, then wink.
And, in another week or so, the Nuggets should fire Shaw and replace him with an assistant who agrees to tank.
People will accept that plan, since the Nuggets have no other idea. If the Nuggets are smart, they can outthink and outtank the other oddballers in the NBA.
Woody Paige: woody@woodypaige.com or
