In the movement against standardized testing, we often hear about how these tests impact low-income students and students of color. I want to add a new perspective: how the culture of standardized testing and achievement affects those who excel at it.
On paper, I’m one of modern education’s a success stories. I grew up in a suburban, middle class family with parents who attended public universities. I attended an Ivy League school, graduated with two degrees, won a Rhodes Scholarship, and went on to obtain my master’s degree at Oxford.
I’m one of those successful data points, right? Wrong.
As a kid I was happy, joyful, and full of life. I spent hours exploring wild, natural places and loved playing football and basketball and just about everything else.
Early on, I thought school was kind of fun and did pretty well. But around the fifth grade or so, I began to try harder. I discovered that I could not only do “pretty well,” I could excel.
The more I worked at it, the more praise I received, and the more addicted to it I became. But as I became a better, smarter student, I also grew unhappy. By the time I reached high school, sadness and anger were my most frequent emotions. And by the time I reached grad school, I could hardly get out of bed, I was so depressed. (And, by the way, I wasn’t the only Rhodes Scholar who experienced this. Many of us sagged under the weight of our achievements.)
Why did this happen? In retrospect, adolescence is the period when joyful, soulful children are forced to fit into our severely unhealthy culture, a culture that values looks, consumerism, conformity, and “success” as defined by others, above all else. Over time, I started to believe that my intelligence was the best, most important part of me. I lost my connection to my most authentic self, my heart and soul.
What kind of society do we want, anyway?
Ultimately, the movement against standardized testing is asking us two very important questions: What kind of society we want? What do we value most?
My education taught me that my academic mind is my most important quality. Today’s standardized testing puts that priority on steroids. Success, in this paradigm, looks like a standardized crop of kids who excel at ridiculous story problems and complex reading comprehension questions.
But based on my personal experience and the experiences of my clients , when we think that our critical minds are our most important quality, we’re not happy. We’re not spiritually connected. We don’t know who we are and how to make our best contributions to the world. And in fact we can inflict serious damage. Smart people wage wars, invent deadly weapons, sell us stuff we don’t need and destroy the planet. Prioritizing a narrow, limited intelligence has not made us a happier people, nor a better one.
In my own life, after years of searching and internal work, I eventually rediscovered who I am. I let go of my life of overachievement and now find great joy in helping others find their true selves. But why are we still inflicting these skewed priorities on kids?
It’s time to create a balanced educational system that supports young people not only to think critically, but also to stay connected to who they are in the first place. To nurture their compassion, intuition, hearts, and souls, in addition to their critical minds. An education that teaches our children emotional intelligence, peacemaking, and how to live in respectful partnership with our planet. And to help every child discover the unique gifts she has to offer to the world — instead of legislating a great standardization of minds.
Now that would truly be leaving no child behind.
Kris Abrams is a Boulder psychotherapist.
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