Directioners will call this Black Wednesday — the day
In years to come, this will become an international day of remembrance, where One Direction fans and supporters mourn the day that the music died.
But, we must look ahead not, to the past.
Who will replace Zayn Malik in One Direction? What was Zayn’s role in One Direction? Which member of One Direction was Zayn Malik? The one with the hair? The one with the face? The one with the leather?
We’re not sure, but here are our suggestions for who should replace him:
If he was the one who rapped: Holographic Tupac, because a hologram will never leave One Direction. It’s programmed to be in One Direction forever. FOREVER.
If he was the funny one: Jack Black, because this guy is really funny AND plays music. He’s also roughly the same age and attractiveness as the rest of the 1D members.
If he was the moody one: Marilyn Manson, because One Direction fans always complain that the band is too safe. It doesn’t push boundaries. What 1D needs is someone to rip up bibles and injure himself on stage.
If he played guitar: Jack White, because White is a pretty good guitarist, doesn’t have any other musical projects going on and could learn a thing or two from the other members of One Direction. It’s a win-win!
If he was the attractive one: Scarlett Johansson, because, as a two-time winner of Esquire’s “Sexiest Woman Alive” contest, she’s the only one who could compete with Zayn’s attractiveness, assuming he’s the attractive one.
If he was the one who wore tank tops: Find a guy at Coachella next month who is wearing a tank top () and invite him to be in One Direction. There’s nothing more magical than a rags to riches (or in this case tanks to riches) story.
Take a look at more pictures of One Direction and help us figure out which one he is:
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