Dear J.T. & DALE: I am seeking a job, and in my past four interviews I have been asked if I’m married or have children. One was an attorney’s office, and the office manager had a prewritten list of questions that included age, marital status, number of children and ages, their school and who would watch them. Having worked in HR, I know they cannot legally ask these questions. Next time, how should I handle it? Report them? – Jennifer
J.T.: You are right – these are illegal questions. You definitely could report them, especially the law office. As for what to do in future interviews, I think you could very politely ask, “I’m curious, can you tell me why these questions are important to the job?” I guarantee that you will be disqualified for not answering them, but at least you can hear their reasoning.
DALE: I suspect, Jennifer, you’re interviewing with small companies. They probably don’t have an HR person and just don’t know the law. What they do know is that family issues can be a problem in a small office.
J.T.: There are plenty of people who know that the questions aren’t allowed but still work the issues into the “chatting” around the formal interview. But to have them on a printed list of questions at a law office is outrageous.
DALE: I feel confident the office manager doesn’t know the questions are verboten. Most office managers in smaller professional practices usually are just the first hire, from when the office started. Then, as employees are added, the first hire becomes the manager, despite having no management or HR training.
J.T.: So that makes it OK?
DALE: No, but I think it helps one to understand what’s going on and not assume these people are scofflaws.
J.T.: Well, I would call them on it, Jennifer. Ask why they want to know, then politely say: “This is very difficult for me. I’ve been in HR, and the questions you were asking are considered illegal. I think that it would be best for both of us if I don’t answer them.” See what they say. Worst case, you part ways. Best case, they see that you know your stuff and were polite about it, and are impressed by you.
DALE: Or you can pre-empt the situation and turn it into an advantage. Bring up your family situation without being asked, and explain what arrangements you’ve made to minimize disruptions. The interviewers will be impressed that you understand their situation and needs, and will see you as the kind of ally they want to hire.
J.T.: As much as that solution troubles me, I agree that it would increase your odds of getting hired.
Dear J.T. & Dale: I want a job that doesn’t require me to sit at a desk all day. What are my options? – Ethan
DALE: I remember when the books came out about working at the Pike Place Fish Market in Seattle, and the authors were in awe of the energy and camaraderie of the employees. My reaction was that those authors must not have spent time at sites where “real work” is going on. People who are physically engaged often are cheerful and playful. So it’s just a matter of deciding the level of effort you seek.
J.T.: I bet you’ve been hearing all the talk that “sitting is the new smoking,” meaning that sitting all day has health risks. I have a friend (a super-fit guy) who bought a treadmill desk and just put it up for sale after less than a month of use. He just couldn’t make it work for him. As for options, Ethan, consider outside sales. These jobs have you travelling from customer to customer. Further, you may want to consider jobs that are more physical, such as construction or retail work, where you are standing or moving all day. However, be aware: Most people who get into these kind of jobs eventually long for a position that would let them sit at a desk.
– Workplace consultant and career coach J.T. O’Donnell has coached, trained and mentored employees and managers on a wide variety of career-related subjects since 1994. Her book, “CAREEREALISM: The Smart Approach to A Satisfying Career” is available at JTODonnell.com. Management guru Dale Dauten has written six books and is an authority on innovation in the workplace. His latest book, “Great Employees Only: How Gifted Bossess Hire & Dehire Their Way to Success” is available at Dauten.com. copyright 2013 King Features.
