Shooting (blanks). Your <sic> a moron! You must be the stupidest person on earth, Kiz. Your comments about the New England Patriots being soft show what a (blankety-blank) homer you are. The Patriots had half their team hurt, and they still kicked your butt until the refs started to give the Broncos all the fathom <sic> calls. You have no chance when you come to New England for the playoffs. Your team (stinks). By the way, the last time your team won anything your horse face general manager was quarterback. Ha, ha, ha. You and the whole city of Denver can kiss our four Super Bowl rings.
Stephen, prolific texter
Kiz: We here at Kickin’ It Headquarters love the passion of Pats fans. We love lobster rolls. We love everything about New England, except the gloomy weather, which tends to make residents a wee bit cranky. The Pats have the heart of the champion, but too many other dinged body parts make them vulnerable in the playoffs. In years past, we have predicted an undefeated Kansas City Chiefs team was a fraud as a Super Bowl contender and the Oklahoma City Thunder would never win a championship with Russell Westbrook. While the fine folks from K.C. and OKC were initially irked, they ultimately sent fine cheeses and single-malt scotch in appreciation for our sports insight. We mention this not to brag, but to kindly inform Patriots fans they have been warned.
Couch! That hurts! I will be the first Pats fan to remind you of your biased column when you and the Broncos are watching the Super Bowl from your couch.
Barry, party planner
Kiz: Big-screen TV? Check. Cooler of beer? Check. Guacamole dip? My only worry is Demaryius Thomas might drop it. But once you squeeze Sylvester Williams and Tyler Polumbus in my basement, I’m not sure there will be room for 50 more Broncos. To paraphrase a classic movie line: We’re gonna need a bigger couch.
Kiz the Klown. Mark Kiszla is a clown.
Jack, Boston sports blogger
Kiz: And I can make really cool animal balloons, as well. Available to work school fundraisers, bar mitzvahs and bachelorette parties. Call now.
At a loss. And today’s parting shot acknowledges that even when New Englanders carrying pitchforks and torches storm the gates of Kickin’ It Headquarters, we always have time for a Broncos fan.
The reaction to the Pats’ loss in Denver should be known as the Boston Tear Party. Never have I seen so many grown men cry. The Broncos coaches should remind their players how much they are disrespected, when everyone in that hated New England organization blames the loss on injuries and bad officiating.
Brad, Scottsdale, Ariz.
