Dear J.T. & DALE: My 36-year-old son has a college degree but has held only hourly jobs – waiter, sales, etc. He now has met a girl who is 28 and just finished her Ph.D. She wants a guy with a “professional career,” so now my son is trying to find a full-time job and establish a career. He is devastated that he has wasted so many years. My question: How does he go about finding a career after all these years? – Joyce
DALE: Ah, the power of love, or even infatuation. A young relative of mine recently give up smoking because a girl he asked out said she wouldn’t date anyone who smokes. He quit, and even when the girl still wouldn’t go out with him, he didn’t go back. My point is that this is a great chance for your son to break out of his routine and develop career momentum. Please tell him for me that he need not feel devastated: Those were not lost years; they were his discovery years. He needed to collect enough wisdom to seek his path.
J.T.: And now he needs to make that true. Not knowing him personally but observing the jobs he’s chosen, it seems that he enjoys interacting with and persuading people. These are valuable career skills. However, he will encounter resistance – at 36, it will appear that he lacks drive and ambition. Employers will expect him to start at the very bottom and prove he is ready to climb the ladder. So tell him to expect a lot of hard work and humility.
DALE: Yikes. Don’t tell him that. Tell him he’s embarking on a great adventure.
J.T.: Which is something else he needs to make true. To do so, he should seek a company that does something he cares deeply about. That way, the mission of the business will help keep him engaged and motivated. And if he can leverage his strengths and life experience, he can fast-track his career. I’d suggest he visit my website, CareerHMO.com, and try the Career Decoder Quiz. It will help him see where he fits into the workplace and how he can efficiently leverage his strengths.
DALE: Good idea. Plus, I’d urge him to think about all those former colleagues and seek out the ones who’ve made the jump from hourly work to engaging careers. A lot of those folks will see themselves in him and will be willing to help with introductions. The process of finding a career doesn’t have to be dreary and disheartening – he can make it a happy-warrior exercise in connection. Dear J.T. & Dale: I’m a stay-at-home mom. I’ve been trying to start a blog business but am not getting traction. I’m starting to feel depressed. The problem is, I can’t afford day care, and there’s no job that will pay enough to cover it. What can I do? – Marla
J.T.: You are not alone. Have you tried getting involved with online groups to help you? Organizations like LeanIn.Org (founded by Facebook COO, Sheryl Sandberg) are working hard to give women more resources. You can join a “circle” on that site that can help you find support. Additionally, consider freelance work where you can work from home. This can give you part time experience that will help you get a higher-paying job.
DALE: I think the key word in what J.T. just said is “work”: Finding work is much easier than finding a job. Think of all the people who need a little help but can’t hire a full-time employee. You might find them online, but I bet that right now, probably within five miles of your house, there are dozens of people with too many reports to edit or too many data sets to enter or whatever, people who’d love to have a few hours per day or per week of your time, working from home. They’re out there, waiting for you. Just figure out how you can help, and start calling or emailing the offices around you.
– Workplace consultant and career coach J.T. O’Donnell has coached, trained and mentored employees and managers on a wide variety of career-related subjects since 1994. Her book, “CAREEREALISM: The Smart Approach to A Satisfying Career” is available at JTODonnell.com. Management guru Dale Dauten has written six books and is an authority on innovation in the workplace. His latest book, “Great Employees Only: How Gifted Bossess Hire & Dehire Their Way to Success” is available at Dauten.com. copyright 2013 King Features.
