In the company of Denver sports fans, what are the worst four-letter words you can utter?
Tony.
Romo.
Let me get this straight. Romo won’t be wearing a Broncos uniform in September. But the broken-down quarterback will dress up like an NBA player and sit on the Mavericks bench when the Nuggets play Tuesday in Dallas?
Yes, I realize the Nuggets have been hard to take seriously as playoff contenders. But Mavericks owner Mark Cuban and the NBA apparently have so little disregard for Denver they view the Nuggets as mere props in a stunt that would seem schmaltzy on a reality television show, let alone in a game that actually counts in the league standings.
Of all the crazy stuff I’ve seen linking Romo to Denver in recent months, nothing beats this report Saturday from my friend, hoops writer extraordinaire Mark Stein: “Cuban has said on multiple occasions over the past week that the club would be looking to add ‘a passing-first point guard’ before playing out the season’s final four days. People within the organization, sources tell ESPN, say he has been referring to Romo.”
WTF. Well, that’s fabulous.
In a perversely fitting tribute, the Mavericks will honor a quarterback that never gave the Cowboys a sniff of the during the last regular-season home game of a team with no shot at the NBA playoffs. Romo, did play basketball back in high school, will be issued a Dallas uniform and act like he belongs, but won’t actually be allowed in the game, no matter how incessantly fans chant, “We want Tony!”
Are the Mavericks really so desperate to sell tickets that they need to bring in a celebrity NBA-wannabe to shoot jumpers during warm-ups? What? Was Barack Obama not available?
I’m the last guy in the press box to complain about the integrity of the sport with mustard stains on my shirt. I’m too busy laughing at the NBA to be indignant. But maybe the Nuggets should feel a wee bit insulted. Their grip on a playoff berth is flimsier than fingernails on the backboard. They will require a miracle or two to slip by Portland and grab the eighth seed in the Western Conference.
Not that something so trivial as the entertainment value of $200 tickets should matter, but isn’t it tough enough for the Nuggets to swallow that when they could use a little help from San Antonio against the Blazers at crunch time, Spurs coach Gregg Popovich will probably sit his stars and start the jayvee team for a road game in Portland? Maybe coach Michael Malone should offer a seat on the Nuggets charter to , and we could dispense with the charade of taking the game in Dallas seriously.
Romo is 37 years old, and his bones are softer than a month-old avocado. Rather than swallowing a huge pay cut to continue playing football, Romo turned down overtures from the Broncos and to take the easy money from CBS, where his primary job as analyst will be to make enough noise to keep viewers from falling asleep on the sofa during the dulcet play-by-play drone of Jim “Hello Friends” Nantz.
Romo has entered the box-of-chocolates stage of life. Sure, he’s a basketball dilettante and hasn’t paid his dues to be the No. 1 football analyst on a major television network. But whatap being qualified have to do with it?
For Romo, life is one big joke. More power to him. But how did Denver get stuck being the punch line?
