Dear Amy: I have a friend who is a mom like me and is really into self-help books. I really like her and appreciate her opinion.
The issue of finances came up because we both agreed to entertain our kids as inexpensively as possible so they can play together once a week.
My friend pressed the importance of creating a financial plan and sticking to it. I agree with her and am working toward financial independence.
Now, through deaths in her husband’s family, they will come into a substantial amount of money. My family will never get an inheritance from anyone.
How do I keep the irony and jealousy at bay?
– Wondering
Dear Wondering: You can’t keep the irony at bay. The irony just keeps on coming. In this case, it is ironic that your friend, the very one who urged fiscal restraint and responsibility, just won a reprieve from worry.
Jealousy is another matter. You can control it, with help from your friend. She is going to have to be gracious and keep her end zone celebration in check.
Friends should feel good about one another’s good fortune, even when there is a twinge of jealousy. Please remember that in your friend’s case, somebody had to die for her family to prosper.
I hope you’ll remember that a pile of money can be frittered away almost as quickly as it is acquired. I’d like to recommend a book that I think you would appreciate, “The Millionaire Next Door: The Surprising Secrets of America’s Wealthy,” by Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko (Pocket, $15). This book is full of stories of “real” people who grew their nest eggs the old-fashioned way – by saving and not spending, by living in houses of reasonable size, not overloading on “toys,” staying debt-free and buying used cars.
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Dear Amy: I read a letter from a “Mom in Virginia” asking about how to celebrate Mother’s Day for moms who recently lost a child. I thought the suggestions were very good.
But what about those of us who do not have children? You can really feel like a second-class citizen thanks to society’s and especially retailers’ big squeeze for certain “holidays.” Don’t get me wrong. I think being a mom is the most important job in the world. My husband and I haven’t been blessed with children; I am an aunt and a godmother. Every year our friends’ children give me a plant or a card on Mother’s Day. It is very sweet and a nice way of including those of us who are not biological moms but are still nurturing in other ways.
– Happy to Be Included in Md.
Dear Happy: Even those of us who are not mothers have mothers, or know mothers, correct? Mother’s Day is a day meant to celebrate that relationship, not to feel bad about our own losses.
Mom, this one’s for you!
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