Poems of Marian Hood

By The Denver Post | newsroom@denverpost.com | The Denver Post

PUBLISHED: May 13, 2005 at 8:31 AM MDT

Getting your player ready...

Can you fit my shoes?

By Marian Hood

How many papers each week are you able to sign, read and file away?

How many questions can you answer at any time and on any given day?

Who helps me figure out what has to be done next? Nobody cares you

Think that this is an easy task.

So tell me can you fit my shoes? Can you live each day being

Criticized and used? Is your brain strong enough not to become

Confused? Can you fit my shoes?

Who can I turn to if I need any advice? Who is there to help me in my

Time of fright? The clothes have to be washed, the food cooked. And

Then I’m not appreciated or seen for my worth. When will the time come

When my mind is at rest? My every waking moment I’m expected to be at

My best.

So tell me can you fit my shoes? Can you live each day being criticized and used?

Is your brain strong enough not to become confused? Can you fit my shoes?

Then you wonder why under this strain I snap! I’ve been at this a lot longer than

You all have I bet! All by myself with no one to take up the slack. Nothing is

Shared equally in my world. You may take on some, but not all my load.

Can you fit my shoes? Can you live each day being criticized and used?

Is your brain strong enough not to become confused? Can you fit my shoes?

Where is the justice in this scenario? Do this, do that is all I hear or know. So

Before you all shove a self-righteous glare my way; ponder all the things that

I have to handle each and everyday! Then ask yourself;

Can you fit my shoes?

Can you live each day being

Criticized and used? Is your

Brain strong enough not to

Become confused? Can you

Fit my shoes?

Freedom Row

By Marian Hood

Emancipate according to Webster = 1 to set free release from bondage, servitude, or serfdom
2 to free from restraint or control, as of social convention 3 law to release (a child) from parental
Control and supervision.

I was born free and allowed myself to be captured, enslaved, stripped of my dignity and respect.
I was born free and allowed my soul to compromise my happiness. I was born free and settled for
Less than the best. Oh how those that have struggled before me must look upon me with disgust.
They see the embedded line of tears that streamed down my face in a rush.

They watched while I permitted myself to be degraded and wallow in a sea of self-doubt. Drowning
In a sea of bitterness with no one to pull me out. Why? Echoes out from the darkness, the bottomless black
Pit of abuse. Why was I allowing fear to keep me enslaved? This was the lowest point that any soul
Could sink to. This was a time of confusion and not knowing where to go or what to do.

Enticement should go hand in hand with entrapment and deceit. Giving someone else the power to bring
About my demise and defeat. Living from day to day in blindness at will. Not having enough courage to let
The truth shine in. Truth can be frightening when you have to face it all alone. Truth is hard to handle when
It comes to those you love. My truth was all of this, yet something new. The truth I finally faced was liberating too!

I came to realize that I was born free! I came to understand just how precious my freedom was to me. I
Felt like a moth freshly emerging from its cocoon. I woke up one morning and my independence was renewed. All the things I took for granted all of the energy I willingly gave. Trying to be loved, instead I
Became enslaved. I had put all of my strength and power into the hands of an overlord. I had almost forgotten what I was made of.

At some point in all of our lives we fall prey to a slave mind set. We allow someone else to take away all of our best. The key to overcoming this emotional bondage is to get back to who we once were. Listen
To the voices of ancestors old and wisdom from long ago. Sooner or later through all of the pain, the battle
Scars and wounds. You can be reborn, refreshed, strengthened and renewed. I was born free that is my God given birthright, and I will continue to hold on to this gift with all power, strength and might!

I have the power to emancipate my soul and rise from the depths of despair. I have the power to set forth in motion a change in me if I dare! I possess beauty and greatness even if no one else recognizes or
Cares.

Home Sweet Home

By Marian Hood

I’m longing for the comfort of where it is I belong. The sweet smell of honeysuckle and room to roam. I’ll never be the same until I return back to my heritage, Home sweet Home.

This lonesome life I live has taken it’s toll, always in pain and forever alone. No one to understand or listen to my cares. Suspended in this nothingness of calm dead air. I’m longing for the comfort of where I belong, my world of Home sweet Home.

A distant glare stays upon my face inside my heartaches and breaks. How much more grief must I take? Wish I could share these feelings with one I adore, wish someone would give me hope, something to live for. I’m longing for the comfort of where I belong, my world of Home sweet Home. My needs are so simple yet always ignored. I feel that I am stupid for caring for others. Misunderstood from day to day. Will this hurt I feel ever go away? I’m longing for the comfort of where I belong, my world of Home sweet Home.

I think I feel too deeply for those that I love. I give too much of my heart to those that don’t deserve. Please touch my soul and save me from myself, help me right the wrong hands that I have dealt, and stop the overbearing pains that I have felt. I’m longing for the comfort of where I belong, my world of Home sweet Home.

If one person would listen and just let me speak with true love in their hearts this sorrow I could defeat. Then I would no longer long for that world of Home sweet Home, no longer feel so trapped and all alone!

Jaded

By Marian Hood

BECAUSE OF YOU!

If you feel that I have turned to stone then describe me as the Jade. In my heart
Each icy complex part is molded by pain. Seeds of coldness planted by the hand of
Man. You have satiated the love I had for you and made my world blue. My sense of
Compassion has been dulled because of you. I know you won’t admit the part you play
In this. Now you threaten to leave because my warmth you miss. The evil you carry
Inside has turned my love to ice. I’ll never be the same woman, who was loving,
Understanding, and nice.

Cold, hard, and cruel all these things I’ve learned from you. I have become the
Monster you created so now you must face the truth. I cannot turn from my JADED
Path. The course you set for me I must follow. I’m weary, worn, and torn I have no
More pride to swallow. I have no more worries I merely exist in pain. For this life of
Misery I have you to blame. I no longer remember warmth, love, or trust. I’ve turned
Cold inside and my heart you have crushed. Don’t expect anything from me cause I
Have nothing to give. For your love never existed and in coldness I only live.

I am disgusted, numb from the pain in my heart. It no longer matters that we are
Apart. If I must travel this lonesome life alone, I’m glad to do it with you not around.
For far too long you had me believe your love was true, but it wasn’t profound. I foolishly
Believed in something that didn’t exist. I foolishly was blinded by your kiss. Not any
Longer, all along my love you hated and now my heart has turned JADED!

Love and Hate

By Marian Hood

Do the two really go hand and hand? If I fall for one then for the other I must stand. If I stand for love then I fall for hate. If I fall for hate then I stand for love and I stand-alone. Whenever I love I end up with hate and this ball of confusion is too hard to take. Better to have me as your friend, because as your enemy you will meet a cruel end. So how do I distinguish between the two? I just feed from the hate that you produce. I am the monstrosity you created oh Frankenstein now deal with the repercussions in your own time. No matter if sooner than later you will face me, I will have my retribution through your downfall and total defeat!

My Aloneness

By Marian Hood

In my aloofness there is

Darkness and sometimes

Fear. Anxiety surrounds

Me as I sit here. The thing

That helps me to keep my

Sanity, is the sound of

Music in my head, and words

That comes to me. In my aloofness

No one listens to what I feel in

My heart. Everyone turns away

And from others I stand apart.

No one is able to understand

And no one tries. No one is

Here to comfort me when

Tears fill my eyes. In my

Aloness it is hopeless. I feel

This weight upon my soul.

I can only open up to pen and

Paper. Not one person have I

Told. Who would listen anyway?

Who would let me lean on them?

I’ve never really had one true

Good friend. In my aloness I

Still help others that are in need.

It’s not appreciated because people

Are full of greed. It feels as though

Even God has gone away! I thought

That his spirit would carry me

Through, come what may.

In my aloofness I want to give up. Just cash in the chips; let them fall where they may.

If this feeling I can’t escape. I do not see justice in all I have been through. In a world full
Of change, I see nothing new. In my aloofness the silence is sometimes too much to bear. It
Is even harder when this shadowy world I can’t share? Where can I turn? Where can I go?
Nobody cares about you when you sink down so low. In my aloofness I try to hide the hurt and
Pain, the disappointment, and strain with a smile. To the world I present happiness and I say
That it will all be worthwhile. Even though that’s not how I really feel inside. I’m falling apart
My world is crumbling, without a doubt. Please throw me a lifeline. I can’t keep my head up.
In my aloofness I’m afraid I won’t make this life work. I don’t want to stay in darkness. I feel
Trapped and stuck. I am alone please hear my cry! I am alone please understand, can someone
Try? I am alone, frail, unsure, unsteady, uneasy, untrusting, and afraid. In my aloness no one has
Heard these things I’ve said. I STAND ALONE!

My Destiny

By Marian Hood

My destiny was struck across the sky by lightening, foretold that there would never be another born like me. I am the star that shines ever so brightly! This is my destiny!

Poverty Blues

By Marian Hood

I have been stripped of my dignity and self worth by such a powerful force; I cannot compete with political words my voice so small will not be heard. No one cares about my daily struggles; they live far away from this hustle and bustle. They want us to go away but in numbers we grow everyday. What words can I say to make the prejudice go away? I’ll never attend your high society balls. I am locked within these cold, brick project walls. Bills I pay just as you do, so why is there indifference between all of us and all of you? Will I forever feel this Poverty Blues?

I have dreams, hopes, aspirations, and goals. I did not know this was what the future would hold. Stuck in a cycle I would like to change, don’t know where to turn so things stay the same. All I ask is to be treated with humility, take hold of my hand, reach out don’t be afraid to mingle with me. I do not live in filth I won’t contaminate you. It won’t rub off its not contracted like the flu, not this world, this Poverty Blues.

If you take time to listen you just may find a brilliant, fully functioning intelligent mind. Yes among the poverty stricken beats the heart of knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. In poverty you have time to ponder why this world is so demanding. Not demanding of success but demanding of greed, the poverty level people we can survive make a meal of a tiny seed. See we learn to adapt, adjust, and overcome. It’s a struggle yes but in our minds we have won.

There must be hope for us to survive we must hold on to a day of fulfilled promises not broken hearts and lies. In my heart I always carry a song everyday I carry it along. Can you hear it too? Is it near you? It is our song of hope it is the song of Poverty Blues. Yes I may live in poverty but poverty does not live within me! Poverty Blues!

Quench my Thirst

By Marian Hood

A fire burns deep inside, it began as a flicker when I was a child, and now as woman the urge is severe; to be more, learn more than what I see here. I want the knowledge of ancestors old. I want to know for myself not just what I am told.

Wondering constantly how to quench this thirst, hoping to find wisdom in my search. Can I dare to dream of the greatness in me? How to let go and fulfill my destiny? I feel it inside yet I don’t know what it is.
How can I pinpoint my calling? Get rid of my fear of failing and falling. Wondering constantly how to quench this thirst, hoping to find wisdom in my search. My time to shine is within reach. I feel the fire down in my feet.

I can’t express to anyone else in the world: no one supports knowledge or wisdom when it comes to this girl. Help me to quench this burning desire to succeed and soar, help me to become more!!!.

Scrambled

By Marian Hood

What am I feeling? How do I put this into words? These are things that you
Have never heard. I’m looking for a love that defies all reality. I want to touch
Your soul when you reach out to me. Can you get on the level I’m speaking of?
Can you hang with the power of a spiritual love?

What I’m looking for you don’t have, but are you willing to learn? Will this
Burning I have inside forever go unlearned? I’m willing to teach, guide, and
Lead. Without a student to accept and receive there is no need. I’m hurting,
Mourning, aching, crying out for love. No one hears or cares so will I always
Stay alone?

There is no match for me. I’m of a different tribe. In this world, but not of this world
And that is how I will die.

I’ve given up on any chance to achieve a spiritual level
Of closeness. With each passing day I lose a little piece of myself. Life has to be more
Than just what is around me, more than what I see. I feel another conscienceness
Surrounding me when I close my eyes to sleep.

I want to obtain the subconscience mind when I am awake. No one has this sensitive
Feel and their life for granted they take. I’ve got to relieve this pressure, this pain all
Bottled up is driving me insane, insane there is nothing for me to gain. I’m losing hope
Losing faith, this world I can’t take.

Help me, hear me, listen to me, hold me, touch me, and see me for what I am. A species
That will soon be extinct because I am alone insane, help me, hear me, insane, insane,
Insane!

The Hypocrite Judgement

By Marian Hood

Why does your stare sting my soul? It could be my paranoia I suppose but this does not feel like a trick of my mind. I see what you do right before my eyes. The suddle way you try to patronize and underestimate me could be your demise! You don’t know me the person I am inside. All you know is what pen and paper has compiled. With all your charts, your records, and scores is this how you size me up and prejudge? I f this is your way of knowing who I am you are doomed to failure in advance.

To really know me is a complex task cause there are days I ask myself who I am. So where does this leave me? From here where do I go? No one to trust, no one who cares, no one who listens and I’m haunted by my past. I didn’t ask to be different must you judge me for this? I’m sent into rage and hostile dissent. I’m judged if I’m violent or act upon it yet you send me there a fuse you lit! Even when I’m calm you look upon me strange. You give me medication to help me stay sane!

What does this change if you continue your hypocrite ways? You will never allow me to see happier days. A stigma follows me like the mark of the beast. I am labeled forever defective violet episodes increase! If you cannot treat me as a human being don’t insult my intelligence by demeaning me. Let me be to wander this earth whether sane or unstable whatever mood comes first. I cannot judge I don’t hold that degree. Remember neither do you so back off of me. Open your eyes and try to see who I am inside not the label you gave me with your hypocrite judgement!

The Tick

By Marian Hood

Like a tick stuck to a dog the greedy often try to suck me dry and make me cry. Drain me of my joy so that emotionally I will slowly die. They care not of my needs, my wants, or desires. They think not of my dreams to achieve to rise higher. I have no one to turn to when my world is blue. No one thinks of me or even asks if there is anything they can do. And if by chance that question is bestowed upon me I know right away that’s not what they mean.

It’s all a facade, a charade so to speak because they feel it is proper in the eyes of society. What happened to sincerity, straight from the heart? What happened to being thought of when people are apart? People are cruel family and friends the most. So I’ve put up a wall that way no one can get close. I’m tired of being sapped of the little happiness I have. To all of the leeches that have crossed my path. I kindly and with honor say kiss my_______!

I no longer will be there for your little needs and quips. I cannot carry on with the troubled lives you all live. I have set myself free from your selfish pleas of help. I must try to forget and focus on myself. If you don’t understand I could care less. Every life must handle and survive it’s own test. I’ve always stood alone something I will accept. All I ask for is peace because I’ve done my best. So please leave me be, cause you’ve never deceived me. I’ve known all along that you were no good for me.

Finally now I have reached my limit of fake so called loved ones. I put myself above all of the hoop-la. Love gives it doesn’t always take. There are no lies and excuses to make. I no longer need a one-sided family or love affair. What I need is one person that honestly cares. I cut myself off from your world of confusion and pain. I look for not one person to blame but in my heart I am ashamed. Like a tick stuck to a dog you have sucked me dry. I have no more love to give and no more tears to cry and I’m too tired, downhearted and blue to try.

Tomorrow

By Marian Hood

I hold within myself the power of growth and redevelopment every time I arise and see the dawn of a new day. Each tomorrow gives me the chance to be guided and directed in a new more advance way. My courage is regenerated and through my resilience I rise. I shine in the beam of prosperity even my failures make me wise. I reach for a higher goal with each step I take. I find enlightenment with every journey I make.

Each tomorrow is a fresh start that I am glad to partake. Every tomorrow allows me to excel and celebrate. I hold within me life; I hold the key to all things. I know the beauty of knowledge and what encouragement can bring. For the future generations I am prepared to leave my mark. I am the presence that they shall feel within their hearts. I must start with me so that tomorrow will be appealing. I am ready, able, and willing.

Driven by a force that will not be denied. I must leave our future children the knowledge to help them thrive. Hear me and listen, oh seed of my womb. From you shall arise greatness and the power to pursue. I will plant seeds so deep and firm within this earth and watch you flourish amidst the mud and mire. You will overcome adversity where others fall. You will be as the Lotus Flower and defy all odds.

Tomorrow is a gift reborn with each passing year. Your tomorrow is now take hold and soar above all defeat. The battle may be bumpy, but you shall always land on your feet. Tomorrow is you and it is me, tomorrow I am whatever I dare dream for it to be!

Valley So Green

By Marian Hood

This is my fantasy place the Valley so green. This is where I escape to when I need peace. I’ve never taken anyone here cause no one wants to go. It’s beautiful here and you’ll want more. In my mind I see trees under a bright blue sky. This journey in itself is a natural high! If I close my eyes I feel a slight breeze tickling my nose and it makes me sneeze. Here in the Valley so green. You can hear the song that the birds sing, watch the trees bend to the will of the wind. Here you can exhale and breathe in again, a feeling that you will never forget. Here in the Valley so green.

The honeysuckle smells so sweet, the butterflies flutter at your feet. Lying in the grass staring up at the sky makes you think you’ve gone to heaven and died. If this was death what a sweet way to go, being here makes you long for more. Come join me in the Valley so green. Forget all your troubles in a world that is cold and mean. I enjoy my journey every time I go. My imaginary place is all I know. So soothing and sweet, so pure and clean my perfect world the Valley so green!!

Not a Slave, But a Man

By Marian Hood

You are a prisoner

Of a cycle that has a structure so strong; only love, patience, and kindness can break the chains of your slave bond. You cannot conceive the blindness that you have been traveling through.

How does one go about helping someone like you? The enticement of pain seems to give you a pleasure that you enjoy and endure, and it is plain that you through your eyes of darkness, you are not even sure.

You are not sure of your potential to succeed, and soar like the wind on the wings of an eagle. You would prefer to live your life alone, cold, and single. How sad it is to see the man that you could be, but because of your fear you run, you hide, you are making no strides. Where are you going? What are your dreams? Wouldn’t you like to see more than just your slavery scene?

In a world where hope is hopeless and the stench in the air is foul. Wouldn’t you like to have a breath of sweet smelling roses and a sunshine smile by your side? So I cry, it is I, here am I your doorway to freedom so bright.

Can’t you see the love I offer can build a bond so tight? So strong a bond I am willing to form that nothing on this earth, not even the roughest storm; can break the cycle of loved ones at your side.

Stop running, stop fearing, stop trying to hide. Let me in I’ll be your eyes in the darkest of night.

Through my love I can lead you to a future so bright. Don’t be a slave to yourself any longer. You are a man, you are a man!

Stand tall, be proud, you can. Not a slave, not hopeless, but full of hope. Not sad, but full, full of joy! Not resentful, but respectful, because you can be everything I see inside of you as a good man.

Not a slave, not alone, not a slave, you are a man steady and strong! A man I can honor who can do no wrong. Yes you can, Yes you can! I believe in you don’t you understand? Not a slave, but a man! Yes you can, yes you can!

You’re not just anyone, yes you can, because you are my strong, honorable, beautiful Man!
Not a slave, but a man.

I dedicate this poem to my soul mate and one true love Mr. Rey Correa. You have given me joy that you will never know. I hope I have given you the same in return. May God continue to bless our union as man and wife. I love you always and forever! Your Boo.

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