Q: Scott,
I have been dating a local man for the past two months. He made the initiative coming by my office to say hi or bring me lunch, and/or coming by my night job where I bartend at night, even if it is to say hello on his way home.
Lately, he has been working late at a jobsite which I understand it’s out in the country and the cell phones don’t work great, but he quit calling or coming by in the past one and a half weeks. I know and understand his busy days.
He had told me of his friend’s annual camping trip, and invited me since we started dating. It was this past weekend.
He quickly called and gave me directions to a place in the mountains that would not be easy to find it it’s someone’s first time. He had to work ’til 5 p.m. on Saturday and told me to drive out and meet him there.
I had to pass up his town where his jobsite is at, so I asked if I should drive out to that town when he was done, and we could drive together, since I didn’t know his friends for me to go ahead alone. He didn’t really answer.
This was on Friday, my birthday. He didn’t call all weekend. I’m guessing he went camping and couldn’t reach me even when he eventually noticed I didn’t show up.
For a man making the initiative on a relationship/dating, when the great weekend finally came, and it was my birthday, I feel he didn’t really make the effort with quick directions to a mountain valley to find a campsite and not suggesting we ride in together.
Needless to say, I stayed home watching TV and visiting with my roommate for a dinner at home instead.
Am I reading too much into it, or is it a sign he is fading out of our relationship and “not riding together” was a sign ? We’re not kids. He is 30 and I am 38.. well now 39.
– B
SCOTT: First of all, Happy Birthday!
I don’t know what went wrong with the camping trip, but if his jobsite was on the way to the campsite and he avoided meeting up and riding in together, something’s up. He really should’ve found a way to hook up and take you there, especially since this was his friends’ camping trip and you didn’t even know these people.
Then he didn’t even have the courtesy to call to see where you were and why you didn’t show. That really sucks!
When a guy starts acting weird and a smart girl like you comes to me for advice (atta girl!), I always say to go by actions instead of words, and that’s exactly what you need to do.
Don’t waste another moment on him. In fact, move on and forget about this clown completely. You’re 39 now, and a good resolution for you going forward is not to deal with immature guys who treat you this way.
How about a guy who knows how to treat a lady? Now you’re talking!