Q: Scott,
Here’s my situation. I have been dating a guy for a couple of months and we have recently started having sex.
Just after we began sleeping together he got into a car accident, and he’s also in the process of moving into a new place. So basically he has recently been busy dealing with these issues, and as a result has been speaking to and seeing me less.
I am happy with where we are at — seeing and speaking to each other once or twice a week. We were friends first and it has only been a couple months, so it is still fairly casual.
At the same time, I’m beginning to become annoyed that he isn’t putting as much effort into this as he was prior to our sleeping together. My girlfriends tend to be more demanding than I am in relationships, and have been driving this point into my head.
My question is, I understand that he is busy right now, but should I accept his lack of attention as actually being too busy to go out right now, or as an excuse to avoid getting more serious down the road (or even presently)?
Is my reaction to this too laid-back or can I continue going with the flow?
Thanks!
SCOTT: I’m sorry, did you say something? Only kidding.
OK, about the guy: he’s been through a lot changes recently and you should cut him some slack for that. But, I say if someone’s important to you, you make an effort to spend time with them and that’s not what he’s been doing, at least not with you.
So how about letting him pursue you for a change?
There’s not much worse than making yourself too available, so unless you start seeing behavior that indicates otherwise, take the brush-off to mean he’s not interested and move on.
Oh, but then don’t be surprised if you receive an out of the blue phone call from him. I can see that coming a mile away.