Q: I married into a Hispanic family nearly 10 years ago, and my father-in-law, who has since passed away, was definitely depressed the entire time I knew him. It made me sad and frustrated to see him suffer helplessly and decline many offers of counseling or anti-depressant medication.
Why are so many Hispanics convinced that “some things are better kept private,” when this point of view condemns them to suffering unnecessarily? My father-in-law’s hobby was to complain about how bad he felt, physically and emotionally, and then to complain some more, because after a while nobody wanted to hear about his dolores. He took medication for his heart, his kidneys and his blood pressure. So why not for his mood?
Is it a Roman Catholic thing about deserving to suffer? Or is this just my attempt to impose white middle-class values on everyone?
Catherine: An adverse reaction to psychological medicine is not necessarily a cultural issue. People of all races struggle with taking medication for depression because they think that they should be able to “deal with it.”
There are always cases of genetic predisposition and hormone imbalances, but the majority of depression cases are situational. Depression exists as a symptom for deeper underlying issues. Medication can serve as a short- term Band-Aid.
The benefit of medication is that it can help people reach an emotional level where they can function well enough to get counseling. Although Hispanics might be more vocal about not taking medicine or getting counseling that will “mess with their mind,” this is not just a cultural issue. Many people have trouble getting help even when they desperately need it.
Danny: The issue of the “unspoken” is derived from a combination of culture, religion and machismo. Although my experiences with this type of “don’t tell, don’t treat” are predominantly familial and rooted in the Mexican-
American culture, I have seen it within the elderly, the poor and the misinformed across all racial and ethnic boundaries.
The cultural implication is to not burden the family with nonsense of mental ailments, or physical ones that are not seen as life- threatening. The machismo part is culturally related and almost self-explanatory if the victim is male, but Latinas can suffer from it, as well.
Religion within the Latino community certainly has an influence on medicinal issues and taboo topics such as mental illness, but to pinpoint how faith and prayer directly manipulate behavior requires extensive research. Educating folks like your father-in-law about their condition while invoking the commonsense approach you used above can be a start in allowing them a choice for treatment and a better life.
Lily: A while back, I read “The Seven Beliefs: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help Latinas Recognize and Overcome Depression,” by Belisa Lozano-Vranich and Jorge Petit, and was very impressed by the authors’ take on how Latinos view depression.
One take as expressed by the authors is this: Many view admitting depression as a sign of weakness; this then makes them feel guilty because they often feel the need to be the strong backbone of the family. These feelings of inadequacy fuel their depression even more, causing a vicious cycle of ill mental health. They internalize all these feelings for fear of needing to ask for help.
Glossary
dolores: pains, as in aches and pains
Consejos is a bilingual advice column on relationships, culture and identity. E-mail your questions or comments to consejos@dallasnews.com. Or send your letters to Consejos, c/o Texas Living, The Dallas Morning News, 508 Young St., Dallas, TX 75202.
