Dear Amy: Our home is small but comfortable. Animals do not fit our lifestyle or our house. Out-of-town friends want to spend a few days with us, and I don’t want to make them uncomfortable by asking them if they’re bringing their dog. We’re hoping they don’t bring him, of course, but how can we handle it if they do?
-Worried in Wyoming
Dear Worried: If you are uncomfortable now, imagine how uncomfortable you (and your guests) will feel when they arrive at your small and comfortable home with “Muffin.”
It really isn’t fair to your friends to leave them in the dark over something so important. You should clear this up before they come.
Just say to them, “We’re not really set up for dogs, but I’ve done some research, and there is a nice kennel just 5 miles from here. Would that be OK for Muffin – or are you going to leave him home with a sitter?” Your friends might have been assuming they could bring their dog (dog owners consider their pets to be family).
Though you should try to hold your ground, I have a feeling they may talk you into hosting their dog. If so, remember this when Muffin is making himself at home on your sofa. Do your best to dog-proof your home in advance.
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Dear Amy: You have run letters from people who wonder if they should give money to all of their children equally – regardless of their individual needs or accomplishments. I think it’s important to give equally.
When my parents were alive, they occasionally gave monetary gifts to my sisters and me. I had three kids, one sister had four, and another sister had no children. The gifts were divided three ways, equally; thus the childless sister wasn’t “punished” for not procreating.
Now, I give to my three children equally, even though they are drastically different in income and family structure.
Why should my child who earned two college degrees, obtained a good-paying job and has an intact family be given less than his siblings who had equal opportunities to accomplish the same but have turned out differently? My children use the gifts any way they choose. The more successful one uses his gift for his kids’ college fund or puts it toward vacation. Another is usually in debt and uses his gift to get out of it.
I believe not giving the first child equal money is like punishing him for being successful.
– Equal Opportunity Mom
Dear Mom: I agree with your philosophy and feel strongly that monetary gifts should not have strings attached.
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Dear Amy: I was amused at your comment that there seems to be an almost universal worry among men regarding their commitment to one woman for life.
When I was about 19, I met a woman who I thought I could enjoy living with, and sleeping with, for life. So far, that has worked out to be true. I married her 54 years ago.
Never lusted for another bedmate. Never.
Is there something wrong with me?
-Harold in Conn.
Dear Harold: There’s not a darned thing wrong with you that the love of a perfect mate couldn’t fix. Congratulations to both of you!
E-mail askamy@tribune.com or write Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
