Dear Amy: I come from a very close family. I am close to my siblings and their children.
Most concerns are easy for us to discuss, but I worry that others will cause hurt feelings.
There is a young child in our family who is significantly overweight. It has been ongoing for most of “Benjamin’s” life.
His doctors are aware of the problem but have not implemented any kind of nutrition program, nor have his parents.
I’m afraid that if I confront his parents I will upset them. The ultimate result will be a rift in the family but no changes for Benjamin.
Is there a way to help Benjamin and keep his family happy?
– A Concerned Uncle
Dear Uncle: You’re right. Confronting these parents wouldn’t work, so don’t do it. (And certainly do not discuss Benjamin’s weight with him.) You could ask Benjamin’s parents questions about his situation and overall health that might reveal issues that you don’t know about.
You will help this child and family the most by simply being the best uncle you can be. Kids benefit so much by having strong and dedicated men in their lives. Get to know Benjamin – on his own terms. Take him bowling or to the movies. Help him get involved in a sports team if he is interested (you could be a volunteer coach). If he sings or plays an instrument, go to his concerts and cheer him on. Teach him to play chess – and play with him.
Love and enjoy Benjamin as he is. A strong relationship with you will have a lasting impact on his health and happiness.
…
Dear Amy: Over my 58 years of life, when attending a wedding and reception I have witnessed the practice of guests changing into more comfortable clothes for the dancing/partying portion of the reception.
I do not have a problem with this, but my daughter informed my wife that I would have to tell my family they cannot change clothes for the reception. Her wedding will be formal, and the reception will follow.
I was taken aback by this request and told my wife that if our daughter wanted to inform people of her rule, then she should put it on the invitation. What is your opinion of my daughter’s request?
-Uppity Daughter’s Dad
Dear Dad: Unlike you, I have never heard of wedding guests changing their clothes for the reception.
Unless there is a volleyball game going on, then what would be the point of changing clothes? Sometimes brides and grooms will change their clothes after the cake tasting and bouquet toss, but this is often the signal that the reception is ending and the couple is embarking on their honeymoon.
People should dress appropriately – and comfortably – for a wedding, just as they would for any other special event.
It would be strange to instruct guests about such a thing as a “no changing rule” on a wedding invitation.
Wedding invitations are intended to invite people to the wedding, notifying them of the event and listing the date and time.
No other information should be conveyed on the invitation.
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