Q: I grew up in a small Midwestern town that was settled largely by immigrants from a particular section of Germany. My grandfather and grandmother came to the United States with three children, and then had four more, one of whom was my father.
As a young man, he got a job in the local bank, and many of the recent immigrants would speak German to him. He told me that one day he decided they had been in America long enough to speak English and that he would pretend that he could not understand them when they spoke German.
I bring this up because I now live in a senior citizens’ apartment complex where many of the staffers are Latino. They all can speak English and do so when conversing with the residents.
However, as soon as they have finished speaking with the residents, they all return to speaking to their co-workers about personal matters, etc., in the immediate presence of the residents, in Spanish. This strikes me as extremely rude. What do you think?
Catherine: Yes, to speak a language in front of people who don’t understand it is rude. Sadly, not all immigrants have the same desire for assimilation that your grandfather had. It is easy to understand that they feel more comfortable speaking Spanish to each other, but to do so in front of non-Spanish speakers breaks every etiquette rule in the book.
My advice to you is to say something politely. These employees at your apartment are not intending to be rude. They have probably never thought about how it comes across. You could help bring about great changes in their life by encouraging them to speak only English when English speakers are around.
Lily: It is rude. It is very similar to situations in nail salons all over the United States, where woman after woman feels she is being spoken about in Vietnamese.
Talk to the manager of the complex and bring it to his or her attention that this bothers you. You may even suggest that the staff put together a “Spanish for Beginners” class there at the complex. You will be teaching them English while they in turn teach Spanish. This doesn’t have to be an us-vs.-them issue. You each have something the other can use, so speak up!
Danny: We’re in a country addicted to political correctness, bicultural existence and our constitutional freedom of speech. Yet diversity these days seems to be causing more division than our commonalities.
These folks are not trying to be rude. They were just raised thinking this is OK. Saying something might make the situation more awkward, but what the heck? The staff doesn’t sound very connected to the residents, so perhaps some interaction to help everyone get to know each other might also help.
Don’t allow the lack of courtesy to ruin a lifetime of greatness. Share your family history with the staffers to help make your point, but continue to live your best life. In the end, you will always be someone who cared.
Consejos is a bilingual advice column focused on relationships, culture and identity. E-mail your questions or comments to consejos@dallasnews.com. Or send your letters to Consejos, care of Texas Living, The Dallas Morning News, 508 Young St., Dallas, TX 75202.
