Memories are precious. They define us – who we have been, and who we may become. Often they remind of simple lessons that improve our lives and nurture our souls. In the face of profound loss or tremendous gratitude, as we age, our recollections keep us connected to the things we hold dear.
One Colorado company has devoted its entire offering to the preservation of memories, and passing them to future generations so these generations may know the past. Andrea Gross, founder and owner of Legacy Prose, found out first hand just how memories can enrich lives.
A seasoned journalist and former contributing editor to Ladies Home Journal, Gross longed for positive fulfillment among the tragic stories she frequently covered. After being inspired to interview her parents and put the story of their lives to paper, something profound happened: “Afterward, my mother seemed more cheerful, so much so that an aunt who lived out of town called to see what caused the change. My father began to sit up straighter and phoned more often, ‘just to talk,”‘ she said.
Deciding to research the subject, Gross found her parents were not alone. “Numerous studies show when an elderly person is led through ‘structured reminiscence,’ they become less depressed, require fewer doctor visits and even live longer,” she described.
This led Gross to make a change of her own.
She decided a beautifully written life memoir should not be only in the realm of the rich or famous. Her new life’s mission was to help individuals create memoirs to share with their families – passing down stories from generation to generation. “We help people frame their stories in a way that makes others want to read them, listen to them and savor them,” she said.
Through a process she calls Integrative Interviewing, Gross elicits long-forgotten memories from her clients by allowing subjects to naturally digress as they recall tales of their lives.
“Family stories used to be transmitted around the dinner table, imprinted on each succeeding generation through constant repetition,” she said.
But today, “families are scattered, conversations hurried. We need to take deliberate action if we want to tell our stories and pass on our heritage,” she added.
It takes Gross up to 300 hours of work to compile a compelling and accurate rendition of her subjects’ lives. From interviewing, to historical research, to compilation and preservation of timeworn photographs, each step is given painstaking attention, to ensure the final product is worthy of its subject. The result is a 200-300 page book, professionally bound and artistically presented to the family who commissioned the work.
Among Gross’ clients: a brother whose memories pay tribute to the older sibling no longer living; a grandparent with little knowledge of her family, who wanted to leave a legacy for her granddaughter; a Holocaust survivor’s son, wanting to piece together a family history to pass on to his children. Each story is different, but the memories just as precious.
The effort involved in creating such masterpieces do come at a price: Personally crafted memoirs can cost $8,000 to $30,000 to commission.
To make services more accessible, Gross also coaches clients on what to do to create their own memoirs. She offers the following tips:
1. Get started now. Any family history is better than no family history. No matter if the subject of a memoir is living or passed on, it is important to begin the process now instead of waiting for tomorrow. Gross cautions, “Life is uncertain, and the only guarantee of immortality is preserving your memories.”
2. Storytelling is better than story writing. Even for the most prolific writer, memories flow more easily when spoken. Forgo the pad and pen, or the word processor, and sit down with a tape recorder. Let the storytelling flow naturally and organize your thoughts later.
3. Enjoy the process. Gross reminds that reviewing the past can be difficult for both the person relaying stories and for family members who listen to the stories. “But often it brings peace and resolution, understanding and, in many cases, forgiveness,” she offers.
Doni Luckett is chief executive of Divine-Basics.com, which produces lifestyle products to reconnect with moments that matter. Your questions may be addressed in the column by e-mailing enrichyourlife@divine-basics.com.
