Dear Amy: My mother’s side of the family is large and very friendly.
My grandfather is 80 years old. He was – from “family rumors” – a sniper in Patton’s Army in World War II.
I don’t know if he got the Purple Heart or other medals. Ever since I was a kid, he didn’t want to talk about it. It seems that as he’s grown older, he feels more at ease about it, but I think that everyone is so used to him not wanting to talk about it that no one asks anymore.
I want to know what happened, what he did, who he was with, what it was like. To me, it seems like he’s a really important piece of American history – not to mention family history – and it seems a shame not to talk about these things before he gets to the end of his life.
My mother says I should ask him. She said out of all the grandchildren, I would be the one he would tell his story to.
I know I would get it in writing, because the only way to communicate with him is by snail mail. But I don’t know how to ask. I haven’t written my grandfther since my grandmother died – almost six years ago. I have seen him during visits, but I recently moved 700 miles away, and I haven’t seen or spoken to him in almost a year. What should I do?
– Shelly
Dear Shelly: I hope that you and other readers will celebrate Memorial Day by communicating with loved ones who have served in the military to thank them for their service and – most important – to listen.
The Library of Congress houses a fascinating collection of stories from veterans, such as your grandfather, called the Veterans History Project. Perhaps he will agree to participate (with you) in this important and ongoing undertaking. You can start by researching the project on its website (loc.gov/vets/). Your grandfather might be very interested in the stories that other veterans tell; you should share them with him.
Call him today, wish him a happy Memorial Day and ask him!
…
Dear Amy: I entertain in my home and always tell guests not to bring anything to eat. Many times, they do bring dishes. Unlike others who have written to you, I welcome this.
I always make room for this food on my table. The reason for the event is to get together with friends. To place a guest’s item into the refrigerator and then give it back to them on the way out is extremely rude.
– Bring It On
Dear Bring It: If extra food doesn’t bother you, then you and your food-bearing friends are all on the same plate. However, people who have carefully planned a specific menu sometimes don’t want to serve extra food that they have specifically asked people not to bring.
Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
