Dear Amy: Our family has always worked and played together and enjoyed both. Enter the Cuban, know-it-all daughter-in-law who tells her parents what to do and has attempted to begin that with the family of her new in-laws.
After taking her wedding vows she came down off the altar and snubbed us by excluding us from a receiving line, which she had no idea of how to assemble. If ever a $100,000 wedding needed a bridal consultant it was this wedding! In addition to the mess over the receiving line, limos did not return for members of the groom’s party and members of the bride’s family did not circulate with the other guests.
When photos were taken, every female relative had a picture taken with the bride except me – her new mother-in-law. To say that her mannerisms are offensive is an understatement. The bottom line seems to be that she has no class, manners or breeding. We love our son but how do we deal with this ill-mannered daughter-in-law?
– Sarah
Dear Sarah: You could start by exhibiting an ounce of class, manners and “breeding.” (You could also join this century, where people, thankfully, don’t usually talk about “breeding” and disrespect another’s culture of origin.) You sound like the mother-in-law from hell, and I’m tempted to say that the two of you deserve each other, but because you are the older (and one would hope wiser and more mature) of the two, I need to remind you that this woman is your son’s wife and possibly the future mother of your grandchildren, so you are going to have to do what you can to make this relationship work.
You really need to get over the fact that the wedding didn’t go the way you would have liked and make an effort to make the best of this relationship, because you really don’t have a choice, and also because that’s what well-mannered and classy people with good “breeding” do.
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Dear Amy: I am new in the broadcasting field, and my boss is unresponsive to my requests for feedback. My job is such that, if I am to improve, I simply require a great deal of feedback. It’s in his interest to do so. What should I do?
– Anonymous
Dear Anonymous: In the world of work, it is generally understood that you will get feedback when your boss is good and ready to give it – not necessarily when you ask for it.
As time goes on, you will realize that “feedback” from the boss is sometimes something to be avoided, at all costs. Then you will learn to duck the boss, as the rest of us do.
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